Kiss It Better

+1

The two boys sat in silence on Scott's bed.

They had just gotten back from Mexico, away from Kate. 

They had said their goodbyes to their friends as soon as they could, needing time to process everything that had happened. Neither of them wanted to be left alone. Stiles especially didn't want to let Scott out of his sight. Not now. Not right after Scott's worst fear had come true. 

Ever since Scott had been bitten, his worst fear had been becoming a monster, like Peter or Kate. He had shouldered the weight of the world in order to protect those he loved and he blamed himself for everything that had gone wrong over the years, for everything he couldn't control. 

Stiles couldn't leave him now.

Not until he knew Scott was safe from himself, from his thoughts. 

It was something they had ignored over the years. They opted to ignore all the mental pain they had acquired. Stiles ignored it hoping it would go away. Scott ignored it in feared of being seen as weak. Instead they always chose to sit together in silence. To know that they were still there for each other at the end of the day and no one would come between them. Not the nogistune, not the berserkers. 

They had immediately showered once they had arrived at Scott's house, Scott scrubbing invisible dirt off of himself for almost an hour. Neither of them had spoken the entire time.

"Do I have to remind you that it's not your fault?" Stiles asked softly, reaching his hand out to place on Scott's leg. 

Scott just looked down, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. Stiles sighed softly.

"Scott-"

"I tried to kill you. I tried to kill you all." Scott whimpered, on the verge of tears. He could feel his resolve cracking, his walls breaking completely. He had bottled everything up for so long, all his pain, all his guilt, his feelings of worthlessness. 

"Scotty, you were being controlled. You didn't know what you were doing." Stiles squeezed his leg in what he hoped to be a reassuring way.

Scott shook his head and looked out the window to the dark sky. The house was silent, Melissa not yet home from work. It was times like these when it felt like they were the only two people in the world.

"Stiles. I was going to kill Liam. I was so close-"

"But you didn't." Stiles stated firmly, leaving no room for argument. He moved his hand from Scott's thigh to his shoulder. He turned the younger boy to look at him, lifting his chin when he looked down. Scott's deep brown eyes were full of sorrow and pain. Stiles wanted to fix it, to make it all better.

"You didn't kill anyone, Scott. You were being controlled and you were still strong enough to hold back."

Scott sniffled but didn't speak, tears flowing down his face.

Stiles wiped them away gently with his thumbs.

"Scott, you saved us."

Scott opened his mouth to protest with a frown on his face but was cut off by Stiles. "You saved us from Peter, from Jackson, from Deucalion, from Kate. You saved me, Scott. You saved me from the nogistune."

"But I didn't save everyone." Scott mumbled, his voice laced with self-loathing and past traumas. 

"You set yourself up to accomplish the impossible, Scott. You were never going to save everyone. No one can keep everyone safe. But everyone we lost, they all died for what they believed in." Stiles ran his hand through Scott's shower-damp hair and cupped his face.

"You did your best, Scotty. And you didn't kill anyone."

"It was terrible." 

Scott sounded small, vulnerable. Stiles wrapped his arm around Scott's shoulders and pulled his body close to his own. He held the trembling boy tightly.

"It was like that time on the second full moon. I could see and understand everything I was doing but I couldn't control it, I couldn't stop." Scott sobbed.

Stiles rubbed his arm gently, letting his friend cry against his chest. 

"I know what that feels like." Stiles said softly.

Scott clung to him then, reminded of the time he fully believed he would lose his best friend. His sobs grew louder.

"Do you think I'm a monster, Scott?"

Scott's head shot up and he faced Stiles with a look of pure disbelief. 

"What?! No! How could I? It wasn't you-"

Stiles smiled at him gently. "See, Scott? You're not a monster. You've just been through a lot of hard times all at once."

Scott rubbed his eyes and nodded. "I just... I felt like a monster. You were all looking at me in fear, fighting against me. I know you had no choice, you didn't know it was me but... you were all against me and I just..." A broken sobbed left his lips as he was once again pulled against Stiles' chest. 

Stiles gently soothed him, whispering and shushing him gently. He wiped his own tears on his sleeve. He carded his fingers through Scott's hair until he had stopped crying.

"Are you okay?" Scott asked softly after some silence. He lifted his head to look at Stiles' face. 

Stiles pulled Scott closer, a sad smile on his lips. "I am now. Now that you're safe. I was scared of losing you, Scotty. I love you, okay? I can't live without you." He gently cupped Scott's face in his hands once more.

"I love you too, Stiles. I need you." Scott sniffled, clutching Stiles' shirt in his hands, a desperate way of communicating how much he valued his best friend.

Stiles glanced at his lips then back to his eyes. He made the split decision to lean in, hoping that Scott wouldn't pull away.

Their lips pressed together, both of them still for a moment, Stiles in fear and Scott in shock. Suddenly, Scott's grip on Stiles' shirt tightened and he pulled him in closer, his mouth beginning to move. 

Stiles quickly re-cooperated the kiss, a wave of relief washing over him. His hands slid down to grip Scott's waist as best he could at the awkward angle. He gently pushed the werewolf down so that Scott was laying on his back on the bed with Stiles on top of him. 

Stiles reluctantly pulled back, panting softly and looking down at his best friend. Scott was looking back at him with wide curious eyes. 

"Was that a 'I'm glad you're alive, buddy' kiss or a 'something more' kiss?" Scott asked nervously, his hands still linked around Stiles' neck.

Stiles laughed softly. "definitely not a 'buddy' kiss. If- If that's-"

"If you ask me if that's okay with me I'm gonna have to kick your ass." Scott scoffed, pressing their lips together once more. 

"Stupid question?" Stiles mumbled against his lips.

"The stupidest."