Unapologetic Lies

Teen Years Part: 1

*3-4 years later*....
Early High School Years
Grade: 9 (Freshman)
Setting: New House, and neighborhood

"Smile Colin"!

I smiled as mother took a photo of me, preparing me for high school.  After the move, I can admit, all that happened in my old home, and school changed.  I can rarely remember much that went on.  Being as though I am a freshman in high school now, the fifth grade and up are all becoming a blur now, and I can't remember much.  All I can remember is how i was being bullied in school.  Jason was never a kid I got along with, and truly hope I don't see him at this new school that I have now.  Mother, and I are also doing much better, especially her.  Mother stopped smoking and drinking so much, but I can see her getting angry and taking that anger and frustration out on me, but hopefully once I get older, she can be better.  

Colin: "Mom we have to get going now".

"Hush, it's right around the corner, it won't take us long, especially now that we have a brand new car". 

Colin: "As long as I get there on time". 

"Who are you trying to impress"?  "I hope you know any little girls that look at you can understand that I am the only woman in your life".

Upon hearing this, that whole comment made me sick to my stomach.  Just hearing how mother made a statement about being the "only woman" in my life came off as she was sexualzing me, even as her own son, which made me very uncomfortable.  Though girls were already a topic of conversation, I never really saw myself dating anytime soon.  I just simply wanted good grades, and to then work on myself, and self healing.  Nothing else really mattered or caught my attention as much.  Making friends was barely a thought either, and so I don't know how dating even became a way for my mother to threaten me.  After she spoke I didn't say nor want to add anythhing else after her whole debate, and just left it, and her, alone.  Mother and me would leave out the house, down the path, and right to our garage.  Unlocking the car doors, and watching as mother stared me down, wanting me to open her door for her, and then go sit down on the passenger side, which I did.  Mother cared deeply on how I acted towards her.  Some things she asked of me were common or made the most sense in my opinion, but then there were others that made me feel weird, and off about her choices.  Mom used to want to kiss me on the lips, which as my mother, and only parent who I had any attachment towards, at first it was pretty normal, but as soon as I got older, she used to get upset and snap on a few occasions.  Meanwhile, if she and I went out together, I would hold the door for her, walk with her, as she walked on the inside of the pavement, and I on the outside, as "the man should do", but I was no man, just her son, but she didn't care.  Other comments mother used to say were, "I raised you to the man you have become".  Granted my mother did raise me, and nor did I ask for such, or to even be here, but I found it weird, and a little crazy that gets enjoyument of calling me a man, or "her only man" in her life, that's just nasty at this point.  As my thoughts continued to flow, we had finally reached my new highschool.  I got to meet new kids and the older teens that were going to graduate soon.  But before I enetered the building, mother watched as I got out the car, and walking towards the open doors, just to hear her scream.

"That is my babyn look as my son outshines the rest of you, my little man is so sexy".

The way I stopped in my tracks, I shouldv'e won an award.  The way I turned around, looked at her, and as quiet as everyome got, annoyed me even more.  Students, teachers, staff and other kids all looked at me, but the all looked at her.  They obviously knew her comment made me feel uneasy, so all she did was really draw attention to her, which she didn't care about either.  After she drove away, I could hear snickering and laughter.  The voice was really familair, and caused me to shoot my head up in fear.  Whoever it was knew about me, becuase then I could hear my name getting called out from a distance.  It was Jason. He came to this school.  Before moving her, everyone in my middle school already knew where Jason was from, and how his neighborhood only provided a highschool.  But damn, after all these years, I prayed and hopped he didn't think to come here, but hopefull moved away like the great majority of our other middle school students, and nope I was wrong.