I'm in Love with my best friend

🔹Eighteen 🔸

"What? A little more than just friends?" He chuckled, an eyebrow raised in humour. I gave him a deadpan look, silently begging him to be serious. After all. He was the one that said we needed to talk about this. And there I was, talking. Yet there he was, making a joke of it all.

After a fairly long staring contest, Zhan eventually caved and, thankfully, this time, he was more serious. "Okay, okay fine."

He held his hands up briefly.' "So, maybe I got a little jealous." His shoulders shrugged once again.

"Jealous?" I asked him, confused.

"Don't even act like you weren't checking Meng Ziyi out all day today."

Well, I got what I asked for. Serious Xiao Zhan. I kinda hoped he'd go back to joking around, cause the glare he was shooting my way, well, if looks could kill.

"I wasn't checking her out, Zhan! Can a guy not appreciate-"

"Fuck off, appreciating is just the less common way of saying you were checking someone out! Don't bullshit me Yibo, I know you. And I definitely know when you are eye-fucking someone."

"Oh yeah? And how would you know that?"

"Cause you've done it to me enough times for me to recognise it."

"What the- no I have not! Are you fucking kidding me?" I noticed my throat started getting dry and my cheeks started heating. I was sure if I looked in a mirror, there would be an uncanny resemblance to Pikachu - minus the yellow skin. But you know what? It was completely unrelated to the conversation I was having right now. Completely unrelated.

"Look, whatever, forget it. I just wanna know if you take this thing between us seriously or not?" I squirmed underneath his stare.

"Well, that's just it, Zhan, a thing. That's all this is between us." I gestured between the two of us as I spoke. Zhan took a step back, almost as if in surprise at hearing what I'd said.

"Just a thing. Right, fine, I get it. " He muttered, almost inaudibly, but I caught the words. Just.

"Come on Zhan, you know I didn't mean it like that. But we're not exactly in a relationship either." I took a step forward, but barely noticed. "Guys can't really..be in a relationship. It's not right. I just-I have to figure all this out in my head, Zhan. Honestly, I'm so confused right now. I felt I jumbled up my sentence and what I said was nonsense, but I didn't care, I couldn't give two shits.

"So... what, Yibo? I'm just here to give you a good time, is that it?" The hurt was clear in the break of his voice and the moisture in his eyes. He wasn't crying, but he looked like he was on his way there.

"You're twisting my words now," I attempted in a calm tone, taking another step forward so we were only a few inches apart now.

"No, I'm not, that's what you said. You said guys can't be in a relationship. We're not in a relationship so-"

"I never said I'm just using you for sex though, did I-"

"Just? So what else are you using me for, Yibo? Please tell me."

"Now you're just being stupid. You're twisting my words because you're upset-"

"Upset? Who said I was upset? You know what, just forget it, Yibo, I'm outta here." Before I could get any more words out, Zhan was slamming the door behind him. The thought of chasing after him reverberated inside my head for a while, but I fought against the urge and just collapsed down onto my mattress with a heavy sigh.