Blurry Bond Between Us

Chapter IX: Apology

The next 3-4 days I spent in despair. The whole thing was completely new to me. I knew that I was attached to Suhani but how much? My pain gave me that answer.

I wasn't sad because I could never be with her romantically I was coz maybe our friendship wouldn't be the same as it was. It's tough to be friends with someone with whom you used to be in love before. This is also the reason why we hate our exes so much.

I knew that being a sad Romeo will only increase my pain and make my life more miserable so I started my usual life.

One evening while I was watching television. Somebody knocked on the door. I opened the door and found that it was tiya. She told me that she wanna talk to me about that night so I took her to my room. I gave my study chair for her to sit in and myself I sat on the bed.

"Hey I know this all-event might be so traumatized and confusing for you but still I wanted to share my perspective so I came here. I and Suhani are friends since we were in school and she is only the person that has supported me my whole goddamn life. My life had never been easy. My family has always oppressed my education since I was a kid. It was my grandfather who made my school education possible. He was the best person for me since he was alive. When I was in 9th he died due to cardiac arrest and I was left alone. My family then told me that I have to quit my study after completing my 10th.

In 10th I got closure to a guy who used to understand me like my grandfather and make me feel great always. I was living my best life back then but you know what he did?"

She said this and started to weep

I didn't know what to say and so I asked: "what he did do."

"He betrayed me in such a way that broke me from up to down. I never knew a person like him would ever do that to me. Every time I imagine that incident I feel disgusted. I was on the lowest verge of my life. The edge where everything was just dark and I couldn't see light anywhere. It was only Suhani that helped me to pass through that darkness and made me realize my worth"

She wiped her tears and then continued:

"I somehow manage to get good marks in 10th and became the topper of my school. The entire school was proud of me and they helped me by providing my scholarship so that I could pursue higher studies. My family was now bound to leave me to complete my 12th and college."

"Hey! It's okay It's not your fault" I said this to calm her down but She continued her conversation

"I had no idea about my sexuality and stuff but you know staying with Suhani all this year has only added meaning to my life. I don't love her because I am sexually attracted to her. I love her because I want to keep her close until my last breath. I did promise you that I will help you both guys to come closer but you know every time I would try doing that my heart wouldn't allow it. I know my apology would never be enough for you but still, I wanted to say you sorry Adil for mine every action that had broken your soul"

"Is everything alright?" mamma entered the room with the tray of tea.

"Yeah everything is good" I replied

Mom initiated a conversation with Tiya boasting about her college life which brought a smile to Tiya's face but after a few minutes mom left as she had to cook food.

After mom's left, she looked at my wall (where there were some posters of my favourite music artist) and asked

"So you are a music enthusiast"

"Yeah! I find it the best tool to release dopamine in my boring life and sometimes I sing too" I replied

"Oh, really that's cool! So would I get an opportunity for listening to a song from you?" she asked

"Yeah sure but which song do you wanna me to sing."

I told this and brought out my guitar. She stared at my wall a little and said.

"You like Arctic monkey, I like their music too. Can you sing any song of them?"

I made myself comfortable and started to sing "wanna be yours" by Arctic monkey.

She enjoyed listening and after my completion, she exclaimed saying

"Man you are damn talented buddy. You should certainly pursue music as a profession."

Her compliments quite flattered me.

She got up and said-

"Ok, Adil I had to go now. It was a pleasure talking to you. I have one more request if you consider listening."

"Yeah! Sure keep going on" I replied

"We have the annual day of our college this Saturday and this year gonna be last year for both of us. Suhani is performing a dance so if you could come that would surely cheer her up." She said

"I don't know but I will surely try to come if I can." I said

After that, she left. I checked my phone and found that there were plenty of texts and calls from Suhani. I felt quite bad for her so I called her back. We did have our conversation for a few minutes but it was not like the old times when we would talk shit for hours. That conversation was quite awkward but still, it help me make my heart a little cooler.