the grave

1

billie lays the blanket down on the grass, letting out a sigh she sits down. looking at the grave in front of her.

she brings out two glasses, and a bottle of coke. she chuckles to herself, placing one glass down on the gravestone, and pouring some coke in it.

"i remember when we discovered my moms wine glasses, you gave me a wine glass filled with coke, because you liked the aesthetic"

she finishes pouring the coke, pouring some for herself before putting the bottle back down in the basket.

with a small smile on her lips, she cheers the other glass, before drinking some of it. billie looks up at the sky, before looking back at the grave in front of her.

AVERY JACKSON

10.06.01 - 28.09.19

FOR THE LOVE YOU GAVE

YOU WERE SO BRAVE

MY DEAREST AVERY

"i started doing dance again, i know how much you loved to watch me dance, but as you know my body as been quite fucked up" she lets out a small laugh, placing the glass down.

"it felt really good, i've always loved dancing, and this is the first time since the accident that i've been able to do it. it doesn't feel the same without you"

billie lays down on the blanket, looking up at the sky.

"do you remember when we were kids and you told me there was a man behind the stars? always watching and protecting. and even though i never believed you then, maybe you're right.

but at the same time if there really was someone watching and protecting. you would be here" she lets out a sigh, blinking her tears away.

"i went to my mom's house today, we found some old pictures. you were in most of them, i mean of course you were. you've always been my best friend.

both me and mom cried, she loved you too you know? so much. you were everything to us, and i hope you knew that.

and i know it's been a long time since i was here, and I'm so sorry, avery. my love, i really want to be here as much as possible"

she breaks through a sob, drying her tears with her hoodie. her hands were already shaking, her cheeks getting more and more puffy.

"it just hurts so much, knowing you're gone. and that i'll never be able to hold you again. you were everything to me, you still are.

i can never let you go love, you're everything i think of. you're always on my mind. even when i'm with other people i can't focus on anything but you.

after you left, the world hasn't been the same. it's like the world stopped. for months i couldn't talk to anyone but you.

but you already knew that. because even though you might be gone forever. i still have a feeling you're watching and protecting me. because that's all you ever did.

and if i would've known that by you protecting me would've gotten you killed. i would never have let you done it. but i know your stubborn ass won't stop.

you always believed in keeping me happy, and said that's all you ever wanted. and i can promise you avery. with you, i've never been happier. without you, i'm drowning in my own sorrow"