multifandom one shots

Bye Bye Love - Kinn x Porsche (kp)

Show - Kinnporsche
A/N - it has been a while, whoops–
literally i have aged another year since i last posted, so yeah sorry about that

the writers' block really kicked in, but i have been writing through it (including requests), just nothing was getting finished. anyway, i heard 'bye bye love' by ryan guldemond and hannah georgas a few months ago, and after a few binge listens i got inspiration, hence why the title is the same. this is very loosely based on that song, and probably works if you listen and read at the same time (if that's something you like to do).
i'll be honest and say that i hadn't even planned to give 'his lover' a chapter two, but there we are.
this was written in the middle of the several nights so please excuse any errors

PLEASE read the triggers

!! this is sponsored by the korn theerapanyakul hate squad

TW - suicidal thoughts, grief after death of a loved one
Word count - 1296
Synopsis - 
His Lover - chapter 2

angst. no comfort. maybe slightly more than chapter one but not really.

Kinn is not coping. Korn isn't helping. It's as if the world is ending because Porsche isn't there to guide him through.
He should have realised sooner that Porsche wasn't doing well after Big died, but now the same is happening between him and his family.

_______

He hadn't been the same since. Somehow, despite everything, Korn still expected him to take over the Theerapanyakul family. He expected him to get over Porsche in a few days, weeks maybe. He didn't anticipate Kinn's feelings being true, instead of some act, some façade he put on to convince Porsche that he wasn't in it just for the sex.

Because of Korn, Kinn had to pretend everything was fine, that Porsche had never existed, and escorts were far more fun.
Nothing was fine. Porsche had existed, and Kinn had loved him. He still does. Escorts meant nothing. They didn't fill the void Porsche left in Kinn's heart. Momentary satisfaction compared to months of genuine emotion.

Kinn thought about joining Porsche more than once, but he worried about who would take over the family after Korn? Kim would refuse, Khun wasn't exactly stable. The minor family would burn the Theerapanyakul name to the ground.
No, no, he couldn't just leave and abandon everything he'd grown up with. Korn's emotional grip on him was too strong, twisting him this way and that to make sure he had a strong heir.

Korn didn't care about Kinn, and Kinn was starting to realise that. Porsche had opened his eyes to real family. Even without parents, Porsche and Porchay were the best family Kinn had witnessed, but that wasn't surprising, considering all the examples of families he'd seen often belonged to smaller gangs, filled with violence and bloodshed.

Porchay.
At Porsche's funeral, Porchay cried. At the wake, Porchay yelled at Kinn.
"This is your fault, isn't it? I told him I didn't want him to work for you. I told him I didn't want him to get hurt. But he did. He's dead. And that's on you."
The words cut deep.

At first, Kinn thought it was a way for Porchay to express his feelings, but later, he began to believe them.
Kinn hadn't left Porsche much choice when it came to working for him. He got hurt lots of times, because he was protecting him. The last time was the worst. He hadn't listened to Porsche's pain from losing Big, not really. Porsche hadn't been mentally well in the days, weeks and months, leading up to his death. If Kinn had helped, Porsche would have been more alert, able to save himself.