multifandom one shots

Set Fire to the Night - Chat x Khem (ms)

Movie - Man Suang
A/N - i haven't finished a fic in *such* a long time omg,, but it's nice to have done so. i haven't seen man suang yet so spoiler free. title from the driver by måneskin.

TW - internalised homophobia
Word count - 1417
Synopsis -
"I want to leave. Run away."
Chat looks at him, understanding completely, but some selfish part of him wants to beg Khem to stay.
"But I don't want to leave you. Or Wan. Or..." he hesitates, eyes dropping towards the ground, "You..."

OR

Khem has doubts about staying at Man Suang, and Chat is the only one he can tell.

_____

"Are you okay?" Chat's fingers trail up and down Khem's chest.
Khem's shuffles closer towards him, head positioned right on Chat's heart. He sighs, eyes closing.
"Yeah."
The high is crashing down, and Khem doesn't know where to place himself, but Chat feels safe. Yet still, something hangs over him, a shame he cannot shake off.
"Is it wrong for a man to love another man?"
"Should it be?" Chat is nonchalant, still in some state of bliss.
Khem thinks. If what they just did was so bad, why did it feel so good? Why is his body still singing, despite his mind saying otherwise?
"No."
"That's the answer then."
"But... if the others, if the king, and your brother were to find out-"
"Hush, my dear. The others wouldn't care. They've seen far worse, they work at Man Suang, there's nothing much that could shock them. My brother..." Chat hums, "Well he could use this against me, convincing my father to make him heir as he will continue the bloodline. But I'm very good at keeping secrets from them."
"But-"
Chat rests his finger on Khem's lips, shaking his head slowly. It's cute how much Khem worries about things. He knows he should too, but Chat can't find it within himself to care what the others think, especially not now, with Khem clinging to him as he is. It pains him, knowing they must part in only a few hours for rehearsal. Chat's only worry is Khem. There are new bruises on his skin, a hollowness in his soul, and Chat isn't certain how long Khem will be able to continue before he reaches his breaking point.
He kisses him gently on the forehead, "Go to sleep now, love. I'll wake you."
"Love?"
Chat smiles down at him, nodding.

Khem sleeps well in Chat's arms, the rise and fall of his chest in sync with his, and as the morning light reaches his face, Khem sighs, peaceful. Chat hates himself for having to wake him, but Phikun demands punctuality.
"Khem," he whispers, stroking his face.
Brown eyes turned golden into the light meet Chat's.
"I know," Khem's reply is quiet, sad.
It breaks Chat's heart.
"I'm sorry."
"I know."
Chat places a delicate kiss on Khem's forehead, his fingers lingering on his face.

_____

Khem steps to the right, regretting the move instantly when he sees Phikun's face. He tries to continue, but she stops him immediately.
"We've been over this step fifty times, and you still don't get it?" she's furious with him.
The music stops, and all eyes are on Khem and Phikun. They all know what she's about to do, and Khem knows it better than anymore. He kneels down, facing away from her, and attempts to calm his breathing. Phikun nods at one of the musicians to pass her the cane, and she starts to hit Khem's back, harder and harder every time, yelling about his wrongdoing, how he's stupid, useless, a range of profanities, and that he never should have come here.
Khem takes it silently, though it's as if his skin is being burnt. He feels everyone's eyes on him, watching in uncomfortable curiosity, and as Phikun first breaks his skin, opening older wounds, so it bleeds, she stops. She orders him, the other dancers, and some of the musicians to leave for an hour for a break.

Khem is the first to leave the rehearsal, with hot tears forming in his eyes. He hates that he's trapped here, bringing himself to exhaustion every day. He hates the whole thing. Man Suang, the judgement, the deception, all of it. And now whatever he has with Chat- he doesn't hate that. But he is afraid. Word spreads quickly through thin walls and prying eyes, and this is not something Khem would like to share.
He sits on one of the benches outside, burying his head in his hands. The tears don't fall, though he wishes they would. A hand clasps his shoulder, and he looks up to see Chat sit beside him. He doesn't speak, though he clearly wants to. Khem sighs, touching Chat's knee with his.
"I'm not sure I can do this."
The air between them hangs heavy, Chat's words are trapped in his throat, squeezing his own hands as he thinks. The discomfort shrouds them. Khem makes a noise, and when Chat turns, he sees him sobbing.
"What can I do?"
He doesn't dare to reach out and touch him, though he craves to hold Khem tight, as he did in the morning.
"I don't know," Khem's voice is quiet, exhausted.
He swallows, wiping his eyes, the pain in his back is burning.

They sit in silence.

"I want to leave. Run away."
Chat looks at him, understanding completely, but some selfish part of him wants to beg Khem to stay.
"But I don't want to leave you. Or Wan. Or..." he hesitates, eyes dropping towards the ground, "You..."
"Me?" the realisation hits Chat, Khem meant it, not just out of politeness, but with something Chat didn't trust himself to indulge in.
Khem sighs, holds his head in his hands for a few moments, then looks away from Chat.
"Yeah... you. No one else came out here to see if I was okay. No one else has ever made me feel like I did last night. You're all I've got, Chat."
Before Chat can begin to mentally form a reply, a gong sounds out, summoning all back to rehearsal. Khem offers him a sad smile, standing up and walking to the performance area.

_____

During the afternoon's rehearsal, Khem performs his dance perfectly - even Phikun is impressed. They have no performance tonight, and as the final rehearsal had gone so well, Phikun allows all of the performers to retreat to their rooms or the common areas early.
Khem goes on his common route to his room, diverting off to one of the many supply rooms to get some ointment for his back. He thanks the shaman, and leaves, immediately facing Chat.
"Khem, I thought I missed you. I was wondering whether you'd want to come back to my quarters?" he spots the ointment, "You'll struggle to apply that yourself. I can help."
Khem nods, following at a distance so no one notices them together.

Chat's room is much larger than Khem's, naturally with his status, but this is the first time Khem has seen it properly in the light. He feels out of place, and awkwardly stands by the door as Chat sits on the bed.
"I can't exactly put this on your back when you're over there," he raises the bottle of ointment.
The sight of the bed takes Khem to the night before, the night they made love. He swallows the memory and sits in front of Chat, turning his back.
"Shit..."
Chat gently traces the scars and bruises with his fingers, appalled.
"She shouldn't have gone so deep. I told her to be gentle this year."
His voice is soft, soothing Khem's anxiety. And as the cold ointment first drips on his back, it feels more intimate than the night before. Chat's movements are so delicate and careful in his attempt to not cause Khem any more pain.

"Have you done this before?" he whispers tentatively.
"No, not this," he pauses, "Tell me if I'm hurting you."
Khem sighs, "And last night?"
"I have. But not with a performer. He was... a friend, who became more than a friend. But then he started to resent me, because he knew he couldn't marry a woman in good faith. I don't see him anymore. I'm grateful, actually. It was a few years ago, before Man Suang."
Khem nods - each thing he learns about Chat brings the realisation that he doesn't really know him.
"You're better than him. So much better. Because you're you. Real and perfect at the same time."
Khem faces him now, "I think I want to kiss you," he says, so quietly, Chat struggles to hear, though they are so close.

Chat cups his face, nods once, and slowly brings him closer. His lips touch Khem's and slowly, it deepens, hastened breathing and heartbeats in sync, they cannot deny one another.

The night passes too quickly, and soon the early signs of dawn creep through the curtains, and they sleep, though not for long, as the rehearsals must start again. But in this moment, curled around one another, everything is good.