- 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚜/𝚠𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚜 -

- 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎 -

∙ ⸰ ⊱ ❀ ⊰ ⸰ ∙
- 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚏𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎 -

He calls you an angel, even when addressing a ghost.

Maybe you truly are a being that is no more. A lost soul wandering this plane in search of something—something she couldn't find before she uttered her last breath. Before she lost sight of everything she knew to look for.

All you can hope for is, that isn't the case.

"I'm sorry."

He looks at you, tracing his eyes over your pale, nearly lifeless face—the same as his own. "Why are you sorry?"

"I feel at fault." You do feel at fault. You, of all people, know accidents are called "accidents" for a reason, but you also know such can never occur without a source. Just like clothes cannot be stained a crimson hue without blood pooling from open wounds.

He knows that too, evidently better than you. His brows furrow slightly, replacing the tension they once held with undeniable softness. "I promise you—this isn't your fault."

He's always done his best to assure you. Most of the time, his efforts result in success, but in this moment, you're having trouble settling on his words. He's never lied to you, so why would he now?

The lenses of your dimmed eyes cloud over with defeat and strikes of guilt. "I should've told her to stay home."

His gentle expression quickly turns to one of concern. "Then... you would be gone."

Flames of sorrow ignite behind your eyes, and tears burn through your lashes like lava. "Yeah, I would, but she would still be here."

The skin beneath his viridian eyes reddens as every emotion he's been trying to hide beats him in their duel. Never has he accepted defeat, but now, he might as well be a loser incapable of ever winning.

He pushes down the struggle that begs to rise from his chest, continuing to fight a losing battle. Words refuse to slip past the barrier of his teeth, using the bone as a wall to hide behind. The drawn-out hesitance forces each syllable back down into the depths of his throat, unwilling to climb back out, no matter how desperate he may be to speak.

All you can do is stand and watch as he tries to keep from crumbling to the tile you both stand on, barely standing at all. Ever since then, he hasn't dared to think back on what happened out of nothing but fear—fear that he won't ever be able to stop grieving.

He's done it before, but that doesn't mean he'll be an expert this time around.

You inch closer to him, pushing the padding of your socks along the cold floor, never stepping further than that single inch. "You won't be able to move on if you don't let things sink in. That's why we grieve, Eren."

His hands fall to his sides, pulled down by the abundance of hesitation and scarcity of acceptance that surges through his veins. "I can't... Not yet."

This heart has been broken and mended over and over within the past week, but the glass of the vulnerable muscle shatters yet another time. A hand gloved with scarred skin reaches to soothe the just as tattered flesh hiding your bones—bones that protect the one thing most precious to him—but your efforts are for naught, and you're left with an endless ache.

Just by your gesture alone, his breaths become even, as if he's been composed this entire time. His voice appears calm, but you know all too well that it lingers with urgency and panic. "I'm alright. Please don't worry."

"All I can do is worry. You're fighting yourself, and I can't reach through to you," you say bluntly, needing for him to hear the truth existing behind your lips.

He places his strong hands on your shoulders, holding them with as much gentleness as he can. You feel his palm cupping your jaw only a moment later. "You are reaching through to me. But I can't stop fighting myself until I know you're done doing the same."

The ribs encasing your lungs expand with the oxygen filling them, feeding your being with necessity. All you can do is breathe in hopes that his words will influence your thoughts and your mind will be rid of the venom still poisoning it.

You reach out, wrapping your delicate fingers around his wrist. Gentle circles are drawn into his skin, summoning whatever form of comfort is left in you and forcing it all through the pad of your thumb. His shaded irises fix to your trembling limb as it hangs there, recognizing its lack of stability. He finds your gaze once more, lashes laced with longing and a sense of relief.

You force a weak and pitiful smile. "I'm sorry, Eren. I'm so sorry."

He brings you into his arms, holding your head and hugging the small of your back in an effort to hush your apologies. The warmth of his skin surges through you as if his touch is filled with sunshine, lighting up your night sky.

You yearn to wrap your arms around him, to feel his heart against you, to force him to accept the muscle beating within you as your own, even if you refuse to yourself.

"Stop apologizing, baby," his voice sweeps over you like silk, lowering onto your being with blissful familiarity.

The thing is, Eren never got an apology that day. Not from the driver who decided to ignore the signs. Not from his dad because his wife wasn't responding, despite how badly he wanted to. Not from anyone because Eren wasn't either of the two lying in hospital beds. He was only a witness to a tragedy he couldn't see coming.

Eren had to watch as the two people he loved most suffered, hanging onto each of their lives by flimsy wires. One of them dared to snap, but before it could finally commit its fated act, the other, cut by the burdensome plier of death, found itself bringing the two together, igniting a spark.

- 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎 -
— ———————————————— —

i just want to further warn that settings and perspectives may change frequently throughout this story. i'm sorry if it confuses you... i'm trying to be mysterious here. the shifts
will be indicated by either time stamps,
changes in tense, italicization, etc.

this is the only chapter i'm certain
will be a flash-forward, so don't fret.
also, this one was short simply because,
in all honestly, i have a mild distaste
for lengthy flash-anything's.
just my personal preference, no hate.
anywho...

thanks so much for reading and
please remember to vote and comment!

⸰☽