MISSION: Love

+ fifteen +

"Thanks for walking me home. Again," I let out a nervous chuckle as I walked next to him. As soon as I saw my house, I stopped walking and turned to face him. He nodded slowly and smiled at me softly. It was the first time he showed me his smile. Maybe, I've seen him smile before. But it was definitely my first time seeing him smile at me.

"I'm just making sure my friends won't harm you."

"Oh," I nodded and stood there awkwardly. He did help me forget all those stressful thoughts about Jihu and Ahrin. "And thanks for returning my hair tie," I said again, trying to break off the silence between us. It was very hard since we both weren't that close and weren't in the same class as well.

"You should go. Your parents are probably waiting," he said and motioned for me to go home. I obeyed and looked at him for the last time before leaving him behind. I could feel him still standing there behind me, making sure I reached home safely.

I stepped into the house and jumped in surprise when my phone rang. Heeseung's name was displayed on the screen which made my heart pound nervously. He never called before. The most he would do was text me. I picked it up, "What?"

"Jay knows you like him?"

Those words made my heart drop completely. My fingers tightened around my phone as I gulped down my saliva. "What?" I asked as my voice trembled in fear.

"Ahrin was telling me how she thinks Jihu probably has feelings for Jay. And I said she can't because you have liked him for three years already! And you guys are meant for each other. But somehow, Jihu found out and casually told Jay about it."

I felt my blood boiling inside me out of anger. "She did what?" I asked as my jaw clenched. I wanted to go to Jihu's house and burn it. I wanted to go to school the next day and rip her hair off her scalp. I wanted to do anything to watch her in pain. I wanted to watch her cry and beg for me to stop.

"What did he say?" I brushed away the thoughts and took a deep breath. I needed to calm myself down and stay composed. Being impulsive will just ruin everything.

"He wanted to have a deep talk with you. That's why I'm calling you right now. So that you can be ready."

"What?! No!"

"He's the type of guy that will talk about this personally face to face and not through texts. And you guys are neighbours as well so he'll probably ask you to meet him tonight. Ugh! I don't know! But I'm also so worried for you."

"Okay, now I can't think straight and my chest feels so uneasy! What if he scolds me? What if he insults me?! I can't do this!"

"Okay, Hana, listen. I know Jay. He's a gentleman. He will never do something that can hurt you. And you can't control your feelings. It's not your fault that you're in love with him. And I believe he knows that too."

I sighed, "I need to go," was all I said before hanging up.

💌

I sat in the living room for hours and hours until the sky turned dark. I hugged myself as I felt my body getting cold. My heart was pounding rapidly as I waited for Jay to ring my doorbell. My mother came downstairs and sighed, "Hana, it's already 11 pm. He's not coming here."

"He said he's meeting me. He wants to have a deep talk about my feelings. What to do?" My voice trembled. I watched as my mother approached me and plopped herself on the couch next to me. "It's not scary. He's an ordinary human. He won't bite you or kill you. You can relax."

I smiled softly before saying, "I'll come upstairs in a few minutes."

"Make sure to turn off all the lights downstairs," she said before leaving me alone in the living room. Hours went by and it was already two in the morning. My head swayed side to side as it hung low.

I slowly opened my eyes and glanced at the clock, realising it was already after 12. I checked my phone and there were no texts from Jay. I didn't know why but I felt disappointed and upset. I called Heeseung as I felt my heart slowly breaking.

"Am I bothering you?" I asked when he picked up. "No, I'm doing my homework right now. Why?" He said and I could hear pages being turned.

"I waited for Jay since 7 pm."

"What? Are you crazy?! It's already 2 am!"

"Did he say anything about this?"

"No, he just said he wants to meet you. But if he's still not there then I guess he changed his mind."

I stayed silent as I had a lot going on in my mind. I heard him sigh at the other side of the call, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine, I guess. I'll go to sleep now."

"Alright. Good night."