MISSION: Love

+ thirty-one +

[ one month later ]

I put on a pair of heels before looking at myself in the mirror. I have not worn a dress for a long time so seeing me in one was an abnormal sight. Heeseung stood up from the couch and approached me, "You look beautiful. You don't have to be nervous."

"How can I not be nervous? I haven't seen Ahrin in a long time. And suddenly, I'm attending her wedding? She didn't even invite me. We had a huge fight before I went to the UK."

"It's all in the past. She will be very happy to see you again!" He tried to cheer me up as he led me out of my house. My heart pounded rapidly like I was receiving my exam results.

We went to his car and got in. He turned on the car engine and began driving away from the building. I glanced at him and saw his body tense. "How can you still attend her wedding after how she treated you before?"

"She's always so nice to me."

"She didn't even give you an answer when you confessed. But she's always so mad when you talk to the other girls. She never liked you. She just likes the attention you gave her."

He stopped the car out of the blue and exhaled heavily. "Please, Hana. Just keep quiet and let me have my moment. I know what she did to me. But I miss her so much. This is my only chance to see her for the last time. I don't care if she's married. I need to be happy for her."

I felt tired of trying to talk sense into him. I looked away and hummed in response, ignoring him. He continued driving at a faster pace, hoping to arrive at the wedding instantly.

Our arrival together made the guests there gasp in shock. I was sure they did not expect me to attend. All the classmates I knew greeted Heeseung but gave side eyes at me. When I examined the whole room, I realised the damn bride invited the whole class except me.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. A waiter approached me and gave me a glass of wine. I accepted it and gulped the alcohol down in one go. I felt my back pierced with the glares and gazes of the other guests. As I turned around, I saw Sunghoon and Jay entering the room together.

She even invited some other classes as well but not me.

I knew I cut off ties with her long ago. But it did hurt me when she didn't even apologise and even left me out. I placed the glass down and went to search for the bride's waiting room.

I opened the door slowly and saw Ahrin alone in the room, practising her vows. She turned around and widened her eyes at the sight of me. I cleared my throat awkwardly and sat on a couch, still avoiding her gaze.

She let out a scoff and glared, "Since when were you invited?"

"I'm here as Heeseung's date."

"Get out. I have nothing to say to you."

I stood up and felt my eyes become teary. "Ahrin-ah, the guests here kept whispering bullshit and glaring at me. I knew we cut off ties ten years ago. But did you talk shit about me to them?"

"No," she lied and acted like she was fixing her makeup in front of a mirror. "Don't lie. I saw all of your pictures with them on social media. You guys had parties, events, and baby showers without me. They're my friends too."

"Not anymore," she smirked and sat down. "You created false stories about me?" My voice finally broke. I didn't want to show her my weak side but I failed.

"Not false. I told them the truth."

"What?" A tear trickled down. "You left me all alone. I was trying to fix our friendship and you — as always, immature — talked shit and yelled at me. You never wanted to fix the friendship. You're too hot-headed that you cut me off."

"You betrayed me, Ahrin. You left me and went to Jihu. You even told my secret to everyone, including Jay. You left me behind and didn't even care if I was doing fine all alone."

"No, Hana. Don't change the story. You did that to yourself. Not me. Now, scram. You make me sick. And you're ruining the wedding. You were never invited."

My heart broke into pieces as I turned to leave. I closed the door and walked slowly to where the guests were gathered. Heeseung was talking to Sunghoon and Jake when he saw my glum expression.

"Hana-yah," he hesitated. "I'm leaving. You should have fun, Heeseung," I explained and assured him with a smile. He held my hand and asked, "Tell me, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just got a call from work. There's an emergency."

"Then, I should go with you. How are you gonna drive there?"

"I can just call a taxi. Don't worry," I freed my hand from his grip before leaving the venue.

💌

I sat at a random bus stop far away from the wedding venue. I tried to hold my tears in as I whimpered alone. My chest felt heavy and I felt tears coming out.

"Is the problem me?"

"Am I in the wrong?"

"Is it my fault that I left her?"

I really do feel like it was my fault. So am I paying the price of people thinking I'm a bitch?

I cried my heart out and dialled my mother's number to call her. "Hello?" Her voice said on the other side of the call. She became silent when she heard me sobbing and whimpering.

"What happened, Hana? Tell me."

"Mom, when I argued with Ahrin ten years ago, was it my fault?"

"Why are you asking this now? It was never your fault. She was so toxic to you. I was so glad you left her."

"I met her today. I wanted to ask her why my whole class cut off ties with me. She told everyone that I was the reason why our friendship ended. Mom, I feel like it's my fault. If I had kept quiet and not told her how I really feel, then none of this–"

"Yoon Hana! It was never your fault. She's so insecure that she had to tell everyone to turn their backs on you. She's manipulating you into thinking you are the reason for her wrongdoings. She's gaslighting you, Hana."

"You think so?"

"Yes. You were never the problem, honey," she assured and I could hear her voice breaking. I knew she would never want to hear her daughter crying like that.

"Just leave her, Hana. Don't go anywhere near her anymore. She's not worth it. She's a useless piece of insecure shit."

With that, she ended the call. I did feel better after calling my mother. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, feeling tired from all the crying.