Guide To Not Giving A Fuck About Anything

Advice On Crushes

Don't take this too seriously. It might get somebody killed.

If you want to get his/her attention:

• Tap him/her on the shoulder. Even you should know that dumbfuck.

•Stare at him/her and eventually he/she will turn around. Hold his/her gaze for a couple seconds then look away. It'll usually intrigue them. (Like holding chicken in front of a dog)

•Push him/her playfully. Unless they're fragile. That's bad. Might as well run over a porcelain doll with a monster truck while you're at it.

•Bite your lip while staring him/her down. Another intriguing act. You have a 50/50 chance with this though. They'll either be completely creeped out, or turned on. Do this with caution.

Knowing if they may like you:

•Well if you wanna be absolutely obvious, ask them. Easier said then done, right? ;-;

•Approach him/her with two other friends. (approach with two less appealing friends if you want to be absolutely happy with results. Possibly.) Make sure other two friends don't have feelings for him/her. Ask him/her out of the three of you, who they would date. If he chooses you, well then, Y'know.
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How to tell them how you feel:

•Get straight to the point. Sometimes they'll like a guy/girl that's courageous.

•Send him/her a note. Not a text. Trust me on that one.

•If he/she is with friends, then try to get them alone. Friends may make fun of you, or the crush.

•Pretend to tell him/her, a secret and lean really close to his/her face. Step 2. Kiss the bitch. Or see if they lean in first. (Keep in mind this one is probably unlikely going to work, but might as well try, right? This is a really bold move though. Even I can't pull this off.)
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What to do if they've friendzoned you:

•Crawl into a closet and sob.

•Listen to Suicide Silence.

•Listen to My Chemical Romance.

•Start crying because MCR broke up.

•Start crying about Mitch Lucker.

•Repeat.

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I MADE THIS FOR CHU KAY!!
Fuck You.