we took trips to the city
just so we could hold hands
it was three hours away
but damn you looked so pretty
i took you up to the roof
of where my parents got married
you were my pretty little secret
but someone sent them proof
calls from a 208 area code
meetings on a tuesday evening
defending myself to an old man
because i can't kiss girls in my own home
my coworkers knew about you
some of my friends did too
saying your name out loud felt scary
because i couldn't say it like i wanted to
what if i smiled too much
what if my eyes looked like love
i had to make sure we looked platonic
and i had to hide it if i blushed
sometimes it felt like big brother
and loving felt like a crime
i had to say you were a mistake
and i had to swear it on my mother
loving you wasnt a mistake
i'll swear that on my own grave
it was the first time i loved myself
the first time i didn't see love as heartbreak
i like kissing girls.
even in rexburg.
