Bsd Oneshots

(04) Shin soukoku

!TW: ABUSE, S/H, IMPLIED CHARACTER DEATH!
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"Worthless!" A slap "why do you even exist!"Another slap "it would've been better if you were never born!" And another, and another, and another...

"No one could ever love such a hideous thing like you!" And another one.

It wouldn't stop he just kept getting hit and kicked and beat while the headmaster would speak to him like he's nothing but a rodent, a disease, a monster.

As the beating got more severe, he could just barely see the other members of staff that worked here. He was loosing everything, his sight, his hearings, his sense of touch. He felt like he was dying.

Was this finally it? Was he going to be free of this torture and pain that was inflicted on him by the people who saw him as a rag doll, a useless thing for other people to play with, for other people to break.

Was he going to die? Is he dying? He couldn't tell, all that the small boy could've thought was ripped away from him, he couldn't even bring himself to cry anymore. All he felt like doing was closing his eyes and falling into a sleep more exhausting than any beating, and never waking up.

"You don't deserve to live, just disappear and die, Close your eyes and never wake up! It would make everyone's life better if you just died!"

And that's what he did...
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He quickly sat up while breathing heavily, his vision going blurry as he felt the tear's as they streamed down his face, everything felt cold he was shaking. 'Oh it was a dream, he was alive'.

He pulled his legs up to his chest as he curled in on himself.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, it wasn't real, he can't hurt me anymore, he dead he's not here he can't find me" he couldn't stop he just kept mumbling and mumbling while rocking back and forth. The tear's didn't stop as he squeezed his eyes closed and the mumbling got a bit louder.

In a state of panic, he grabbed his arms and started scratching over and over and over again while repeating 'disgusting'.

While he was in such a distressed state his sense all turned themselves off as he only focused on his own self deprecating thoughts. He didn't hear the voice right next to him.

"ATSUSHI!" He stopped immediately as he looked up to see a pair of beautiful grey eyes that belonged to his partner.

Akutagawa and him had been in a relationship for a few months now and they'd learnt a lot about each other in that time, one of the things that shocked Atsushi was how affectionate Akutagawa was. He would come up behind him and just hug randomly the same with kisses, he was always willing to do anything for Atsushi, he was always there for him even at times like this.

But sometimes, he wished Akutagawa didn't have to see him like this.

"What happened?" He was holding his arms hard, not hard enough to hurt but hard enough to stop his impulses.

"It's nothing I'm fine" that was an obvious lie, and Akutagawa knew it, as Atsushi looked back up at him he saw the expression in his eyes and felt tear's swell in his eyes, he looked hurt, why couldn't Atsushi share what's wrong? Does he not trust him? Of course he does.

"Jinko, please tell me what's wrong. I want to help, I can't help if you don't tell me". After nearly a minute of not responding he sighed and got up leaving the room.

"Shit" he's done it now. He's going to leave, Akutagawa going to leave and he's going to be left alone he should've know this was going to happen, that once he was bored he'd leave he should've prepared himself for that, but it was his fault for getting to attached. Maybe the headmaster was right, no one could love such a hideous thing like him.

He was so lost in thought he didn't hear the door reopening and the shift in weight on the bed, he only realised that another presence was in the room once he felt the cold touch of a wet cloth as he gasped and looked up. It was Akutagawa, he had a wet towel and wrapped it around both his arms stroking them gently.

He also had bandages and a change of clothes for him, the scratches must have been bleeding he could see the blood on the towel as it cleaned him up. Once he picked up on them he realised 'he wasn't leaving, oh' now he felt bad for making assumptions.

Once he was done and had put the bandages on, Atsushi couldn't help but practically jump into his arms and hold him tight. "Please don't leave me" it came out as more of a sob and tear's started streaming down his face again as he buried all hus feeling in his partners chest.

Akutagawa was taken aback at first 'he thought I would leave him...' after some seconds he wrapped his arms around him and whispered "go get changed your covered in blood" he was obviously over exaggerating it, Atsushi got up and started changing being careful of the bandages as he did so.

Once he was done he went over and sat on his lovers lap and held him again, the other wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed him as they stayed silent.

All that could be heard was the sound of rain pitter pattering on the windows as they held each other, the silence ended when Atsushi spoke up.

"I had a nightmare" he paused looking up into the others eyes "I was in the orphanage again, with the headmaster" he took a deep breath "It was horrible, It felt like I was dying! I couldn't feel anything all I wanted to do was sleep but I was scared if I did I wouldn't wake up"

He started crying again, but this time a hand was on his cheeks wiping them away and lightly rubbing circles into them. This was his way of comforting, he was horrendous with words and he was too scared to say the wrong thing and ruin their entire relationship that took so long to bloom. He wouldn't let Atsushi go, never.

But he decided to try and use his words this time "It's alright your safe, he can't get you, not while I'm here to protect you" that last sentence was accompanied by a smile one of his few small ones he reserved for his sister and Atsushi.

The silver haired boy smiled as the tear's that were streaming down his face were dried as they shared a peaceful kiss "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier" he buried his face back into his chest.

"It's alright, I understand you were not in the place to talk, it was a bit frustrating but you're well-being will always be one of my top priorities" he sealed it with a kiss to the forehead "I will never let anyone hurt you the way people have in the past. And if anyone even tries to lay even a finger on you... well, let's just say I might have to break our promise!"

Atsushi hearing this whipped his head up looking at his partner with concerned eyes, the other sighs and holds him even closer "Let's just hope it doesn't come to that yeah?" He smiled again to reassure the younger man "remember I don't break my promises"

"Yeah... hey Ryu"

"Yes Jinko"

"I love you"

"...I love you too"
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This was wrote for the pure reason of I wanted to write angst and shin soukoku is my favourite ship so, also because I haven't written in this book in a while, and obviously I couldn't resist the urge to add fluff. I might try my hand at smut again but idk, anygays thank you for reading if you have any ideas or ships you want me to do please write them down in the comments!
-Elliott