Since forever

Anything can change

Chase
Today is the day I'm afraid of. I'm moving back to our hometown and I'll see Aria I know I have to talk to her I didn't want to call her because I have to say it face to face. I have feelings towards her but I can't forget what she has done to me. I know she must feel terrible because of Ali but I never lied to her I came clear and she kept something so important from me. I read the letter at least 100 times, I read it over and over again. Then I thought about the time before we had to move away and the only thing that comes into my mind is Aria. I know she is sorry she called about 18 times but it is too much for me I have to settle in first...

Aria
Well I think I messed everything up. Chase doesn't talk to me since that day I left his house .I feel bad about what I did but I'm sad too because I just lost my virginity and he is literally ignoring me I feel like a piece of shit. I tried to contact him several times but I decided to leave him alone he clearly doesn't want to talk to me even though I don't know what the letter is about I can tell it was important to him. What ever got into him shouldn't last forever because of that I fell ashamed and unworthy he used to forgive me even though I didn't say a word he could see it in my eyes and he immediately knew but this time was different something I never saw coming but since he changed and obviously moved on I have to do the same. I headed to my best friend (who is gay) and we decided to chat about boys and stuff. I called my dad and told him I was staying at his house. We had the best time I managed to forget about Chase for the hole night every time I said his name or mentioned him Luke  (my best friend) made me take a shot. Usually I don't drink any alcohol but Luke convinced me and we endet up pretty drunk. I came up with a bad idea -as usually- we decided to go for a late night swim at the lake near Luke's house. At first I thought it was a good idea but that changed as soon as I jumped into the water, not just that it was cold I felt really heavy and bevor I knew it I couldn't hold myself over the water Luke was confused at first but after a solid minute he came to help me out when I saw him under the water I blacked out.

Luke
Omg..
Aria isn't coming, when I didn't saw any sign of Aria I jumped in I felt so guilty she was drinking because of me this is all my fault. I can't forgive myself if anything will happen to her. I rushed her to the hospital after we arrived I informed her dad. He was furious wich I could understand but what didn't expect was to see Chase here. Why was he here? He hurt her  that's the reason she came over at all. After Aria got some rest I rushed to her room I was the first one she wanted to see, I was so happy to see her alive I thought I lost her when I saw her I hugged her and couldn't held back any tears I literally cried for a about 20 minutes she said it was okay and I shouldn't blame myself for her idea but I did. I apologised the hole time until she kissed me on my cheek and said don't blame you for that please. I stared at her, just for the record I say that I am gay but to be honest I don't fell attracted to men it's just that I get along with girls and if they think I am gay they don't overthink anything. But Aria is different I think I am the one who overthinks this situation, she is in love with someone else I have to accept that, that's why I decided to nod and tell her about Chase when she heard that he was here she got nervous and then within a second she was mad and told me that he shouldn't come in. I know it's bad but I was happy about that I told him to get away and her dad took the chance and went in.

Chase
Fuck
I really messed up I fucking messed up. I arrived earlier because I had to renovate my room and suddenly I got a call from my dad he said that Aria is in the hospital because she got drunk and fell into a lake with a guy. I rushed to the hospital to see her I couldn't believe that she got drunk she hates alcohol I knew that something was wrong. After she talked with that strange guy for about an hour he came out and said I should go - who is this fucking idiot- he said she doesn't fell well and don't want to come in. I didn't want to disturb her so I went to my car and waited until I saw that guy and her dad leaving, I ran up to her room and knocked she looked hurt she looked like she is in pain and I hate that look on her I can't look at her when she fells pain because it causes me even more pain than she could ever imagine. I saw her and by the look she gave me I knew she  don't want me there but I have to know what happened and why, she sat there so innocent just like she was a few weeks ago at my house. I was such a jerk she trusted me with everything and I left her alone I hate myself for doing this to her I never felt something like that before she makes me going crazy. I sat beside her and hold her gently and she didn't pull away, after I asked her why she would drink she told me everything that happened with her gay friend I felt so angry I was about to explode she tried to calm me down but this peace of shit got her drunk and let her go swim I kissed her head and left I couldn't see her hurt I had to find that guy and teach him a lesson. When I rushed out I heard Aria following me I rushed back to her without thinking about it, she begged me not to but I couldn't help myself until she cried in my arms I knew I had to stay with her. She said that it was her fault and defended him but I couldn't think straight I just wanted her not to cry because it makes me feel horrible. Only if she knew. I decided to stay with her all night since she fell asleep in my arms I didn't want her to wake up. In the morning a nurse came in and checked Aria up and they released her, ofc I took her home and asked her since when she knows that Luke, turns out they are friends since a few months I hate him I don't know him but I hate him he was responsible for her I have to admit I fell kinda guilty too because I didn't talked to her and I didn't hear her out. After we arrived she kissed me and thanked me for driving her, if she knew who it made me feel she would never stop kissing me. I have to tell her how I feel there is tension between us but I don't know if she feel the same way about me. There are a few more days before I join school again and I hope she isn't seeing anyone.