After Death

Chapter 24 (Wrong Thing at the Right Time)

Chapter 24: Wrong Thing at the Right Time

Ethan Warren

Estimated, November 2024

About 30 months after outbreak

California, The Circus

Season 3

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"Where is he?"

"Where's who?"

"You know damn well who."

"I don't know what you're talking about, kid," he coughed blood in my face and it only made me want to hit him more. We had found Andrew and now I was doing something I would regret. Leah was there too but she just watched, she hated this just as much but she didn't stop me.

"Let me," Thomas had said as he entered the room, unexpectedly. I didn't even know that he knew he was here. He pulled a knife out of his pocket and held it to Andrew's face.

"Where is Timothy?"

"It's you. The Ringmaster, long time no see," he chuckled to himself as Thomas dragged the blade across his face, his blood spilling from his cheek. He winced in pain but his smile never faded.

"I'm not here to get nostalgic, Andy, tell me where he is." He held the back of Andrew's head as he dragged the knife deeper and Andrew became less joyful as the pain set in. Finally he couldn't take it anymore and I couldn't blame him, any deeper and his teeth would show through.

"Delano but the dead surround from here to there." He pulled the knife out abruptly and left without saying anything to any of us. "Never could leave shit alone, could you Tommy! You love just fucking people and letting other's watch," Andrew yelled back at him. Leah left soon after, I sent Evelyn in to clean his face up. It was going to leave a nasty scar but it was fitting for him.

Delano, they weren't far, practically right in our backyard but they weren't here yet. And if there was dead we didn't have the resources to fight them off. We didn't have the resources to get involved with people either, we should have just waited for them, maybe they never would have come.

I wanted to kill Andrew, something inside me told me it would be for the best but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Even when I had the gun to his forehead and the blindfold tied around his eyes I still couldn't. You could say it was mercy but mercy was too risky. The only way he was getting out of here with his life would be if he escaped and I knew he would try, maybe even before he healed. To him, we were the bad guys. We had stolen him from his home and tortured him into telling us about his people. It was messed up and I'm still not sure if it was really necessary.

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I offered Aiden a chance to leave his cell but he refused. He pushed my hand away with aggression and didn't look me in the eyes. It had been too long, his own people betrayed him in the most painful way: loss of trust. I didn't lock the door behind me as I left. He wasn't a murderer, if he was than I am a serial killer. I forgave him the moment he was accused and I just hope he knew that.

I was in over my head. I was hungry for a fight that I knew we had no reason to get into and no way to win. Timothy hadn't done anything to me on a personal level and I was ready to stab him in his sleep.

Sometimes I wondered what the other's thought of me. Leah used to express her opinions directly but she's been more distant lately. I knew I was nothing to shout about to the world, I knew I was no inspiration and I knew I could never be. I was almost jealous of people like Juna, with hope they wouldn't know about the pain I've caused. I had good intentions, at least I thought I did but messed up ways of executing them. I wanted to be better but that's just something I couldn't do yet.

Thomas was angry at Andrew being here, I could tell there was history between them but he didn't tell me what it was about. I could put the facts together that it had to do with Timothy but it felt like more than that. Like they both wanted to rip each other to shreds and feed it to the dead. Thomas didn't want to start anything, I should have just fucking listened to him.

I kept telling myself that this was how it had to be. It didn't, not yet, but that was the only way I could get behind it. I just wanted revenge for everything we've lost even if it meant hurting people who weren't the cause. I was angry that we came all this way and it wasn't the paradise we were looking for. We deserved more, we deserved to be kids.

No battle would start until we were ready for the dead and the living. I needed the community to agree with me but even I couldn't agree with myself. I see now that every choice I have made has been a mistake but for some reason I'm still the light at the end of the tunnel for those around me. I was young and stupid and I would take it all back if I could. If I could go back to the beginning of this nightmare I would without a second thought, and I'd kill myself as soon as the dead broke in. I would do everyone a favor by never making a choice but that was impossible now, this was something I had to live with.

I apologize to everyone even if their bodies are in the ground because they're in the ground because of me. I apologize to those I've made cry because I had no right to share their tears. Finally, I apologize for being an ignorant piece of shit.

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End of Season 3