Darianatural: Season 1- Episode 1

Chapter 1: Besticle Chesticles

        About a month or so later, around 2 in the afternoon, a pink 67 impala rolled into that exact part of the city, with two younger men inside. The two men were both fairly rugged and very firm. In the chest. Not the baloney. Anyways, they happened to be searching for something in particular,  and they needed a place to work on that dark rain plagued day, so they kept driving until they found it, a motel on the 23rd street down.
    The one man driving was named Kyle, he had a close cropped crew cut that slowly sloped up to the front of his head into a loose point, none of it hanging in his navy blue eyes or sharpened pupils, his nose was sharp and alert, nostrils flared, and mouth in a nonchalant down turned grimace. The man across from him, however, had man-babyish like features, in the sense that if you had secks with this guy, you probably wonder why the morning after, you had sex with a giant man-baby (it didn't help that he cried and spluttered his dead father's name during sex.)  this large man baby had a rounded face, unlike his brother in the driver's side who had a sharp complexion about himself, this brother in the passenger side had a sharp slanting nose that rounded at the tip, and eyes that could pierce even the deep void of a demon, the were hazel in color, and his mouth was upturned in a goofy smirk, while his hair was parted down the middle and hung loosely at both sides, around his ears and down the back of his firm, muscular neck. Michael was his name.
    Let me get straight to the point; these boys were hunters, not like deer, beaver, and fluffy bunny rabbits hunting, but demon hunting. That's right, all those monsters and things your parents told you to never be afraid of, like the ones under the bed or in your closet, were real, and it was these boys' job to make sure those demons never actually hurt anyone.
    "hey dude," the younger brother, Michael, quipped and jabbed two fingers quickly into the side of the older brother's rib cage, causing his eyes to widen and him to make a noise that resembled a choking baby giraffe.
    "THE FUCK MIKEY I SWEAR TO GOD!" barked the older one, as he straightened the car back onto the right side of the road, and gave annoying little sibling a deathlike glare
    "dude its a motel, you were just saying we should stop for the night, and i didn't want you to miss it"   
    "Well you couldnt have thought of a better way to get my attention?!" he snidely retorted
        "just shut up and look at the rates, ass-butt" he pointed to the little sign outside the motel which indicated how much it cost for however many days you needed to stay.
    So Kyle turned into the parking lot and they both got out and walked towards the front desk at the entrance of the motel, where a young Caucasian woman of about 30 sat with her feet up reading a magazine.  As the two brothers sombered in through the entrance, the door made a little 'ding' , causing Michael to grin stupidly and fall behind Kyle so he could mess with the bell some more
The woman who clearly did not enjoy her day job would be surprised when she looked up to find a serious face and a man-baby playing with a bell, as this derived from the normal customers she had daily
*clears her throat* "C-can i help you gentlemen?" Her voice cracked slightly taken aback by the severity and sharpness of Kyle's chin
"Look lady, we need a room for about a week and we can pay you the cash right now PLUS extra if you don't ask for any personal information about us, got it?"
"Well yeah i mea- wait what? No, no I'm required by law that you give your name and per-"
Kyle slammed his clenched fist down on the desk and leaned forward til his nose was juuuust about touching hers
"Im asking nicely and paying you extra to do your daily job of not giving a flying fuck and giving me and my brother a key, i'd suggest you think very carefully, lady."
She could smell the natural oaky scent wafting from his leather jacket and it didn't help that his chin was right there too. After an intense stare down she caved.
"Alright fine, but dont go blabbering about a hotel that doesn't 'give a flying fuck' alright? It's bad for business"
   He gave her a small fake grin, pulled out a wad of cash and plopped it on the counter, wheeled around and grabbed michael, pulling him from his fascinating bell adventure, and then departed with michael dragging behind, an ever-longing look in his eyes as the bell slipped from his life and disappeared forever.
   The lady had given them the key for room number 57 and it turned out to be decent, (which was good considering how much that wad of cash had in it) so the two brothers set out their guns and equipment, maps, books, and other miscellaneous items and got to work.
After the men strained and studied their prey for many hours, michael shouts from the back room, "HEY DICKWAD COME SEE THIS!"
Kyle came rushing in;
"You know I hate it when you call me that"
"That's why I do it, cause we're BESTICLE CHESTICLES!"
"I hate that one too"
Michael groans and leans back, "you hate everything you big mormon donut. Anyway I found some lore on this thing", he says as he wiggles his eyebrows, "apparently its from Mexico, and it's signature is leaving behind mass quantities of drool and sometimes dead baby ashes. Ech."
Kyle sat down in an armchair on the opposite side of the room and rested his head on his clasped hands, "that is truly nasty"
Mikey nodded in agreement and poured himself some liquor from the desk he was reading at
"So how do we vanquish this vile villain mon ami?" Kyle asks sarcastically
"I dunno, it says something about a 'man of equal ethnics' rising up and causing the beast to shiver and croak at the meer sight of him"
Kyle lifts up his head and grins wildly, "we could always smack it with our dicks!"
Mikey chokes on his liquor and beats his chest with his fist until he hacks it back onto the floor.
"And why on god's green earth would you think that was a good idea??"
"It just...came to me..."
"Well we're not smacking it with our dicks and we've been at this for a good 8 hours, i suggest we get some sleep and take a shot at this in the morning, you game?"
Kyle looks down at his watch and shrugs, "sure why the hell not", then he bounds out of the room and jumps straight up into the air, landing on the bed and bouncing to a stop. Mikey stays up on his precious laptop for a while looking at pictures of girls cause he's dumb, then finally drifts off to sleep. The boys had no idea that their mystery monster was right outside the window, unblinking, booger crusted, and drool filled, with a cruel look in its eyes and murder in its greasy fists. With a loud "HYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" It bound away into the night, preparing for its encounter with the man-baby and his brother.