You're all I Wanted and More - A Joshifer Fanfiction

Being Honest

- Chapter 16 -

- Jen's P.O.V. -

It's been a few weeks since I found out about my child. Josh and MY child.

And I am scared shitless.

I have already told the important people such as my publicist Liz, who spent the majority of the night after yelling at my dumb decisions and I let her because she had every right to, before she eventually patted my back while I sobbed into a pillow, telling me everything would be okay. I had also told my family; my mom, dad, Ben, and Blaine. Last night actually.

I wanted to wait until I actually was in Kentucky to tell them in person, but last night, during one of my family and I's many phone calls a day, I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Honey I just want you to know," my mom started, "that we're all so proud of you at home and love you so very much. There is nothing you can't do sweetheart." I could almost picture the smile on my mother's face, as she spoke.

But, despite pushing my new pregnancy out of my mind the majority of the time, I realized one simple thing.

I can't fucking do this.

That's when I broke down. I sobbed into my phone, with my mother in a panic, asking me what was wrong and if everything was okay.

I thought to lie and say something about missing them a lot, which is true, but the words wouldn't surface on my tongue.

Before I could stop the words from rolling off my tongue I said it. I told her everything. From the beginning when Josh and I began to be more than friends, to when he left, to the night that left me with a growing child in my abdomen.

I could hear the concern in her voice, but she was trying to keep her composure, telling me I was going to be okay and that I was going to be a great mother. She also promised to be on the first flight down to the set to come support me.

This should've left me feeling anxious and upset, but it gave me a soothing comfort in my aching heart.

I'm just glad to know I have someone that is truly on my side.

There is only one person, the most important person, that I have to break the news to.

Josh.

I've never been so terrified in my life to say anything to anybody; not on stage at the Oscars, not in any scene I've ever filmed.

Josh is the absolute most important person to me. And hurting him is the last thing I'd ever want to do.

God I wish I could just never tell him, but that's not possible. I'll have a fucking growing lump in a few short weeks and I'll never be able to hide it.

Josh deserves to know the truth.

It's time to be honest.

I pull in front of Josh's rental house he rented after getting bored of being cooped up in a hotel room all day and night. My heart beats faster and faster in my chest by the minute, not knowing how Josh will take the news.

I sit in the car for around ten minutes in Josh's driveway, trying to take slow deep breaths to calm myself down.

'Who knows,' I tell myself, 'maybe he'll be over the moon happy when he finds out you're pregnant with his child.'

As soon as I say this to myself I almost laugh about how ridiculous it sounds.

After a half an hour debating back and forth with myself in my car, I force myself to Josh's front door.