You're all I Wanted and More - A Joshifer Fanfiction

Finally

I know it's been forever but I'm back with a new chapter!!!! It is a little shorter than my other chapters (mostly because of writers block) but I promise a good one will be coming up next! (And soon!!)

Thank you for reading and I love you!

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- Chapter 18 -

- Jen's P.O.V. -

"I love you."

When the words come out of his mouth my heart stops beating all at once.

Wait. Wait a fucking minute.

Did Josh really just tell me he loved me?

This moment feels so surreal. He couldn't actually be telling me he loves me. He can't love me. I'm not the picture perfect brunette model type that he always goes for. I'm not.

He's too good for me.

This has to be a joke.

If this is a joke it's a fucking sick one. I fucking love him more than he'll ever know.... He couldn't actually truly love me like I do him. Could he?

All I can do is shake my head, looking into his dark eyes full of what looks like honesty and tell him, "no Josh. No you don't. You can't."

Before I can turn around and lock the door he grabs my hand, sending a shockwave of heat through my body. I hope he never lets go. He tilts my chin upward to meet his starry gaze.

"I can and god I fucking do, Jen. You don't understand how much I fucking love you baby," he says, and the look he's giving my way tells me he's serious.

I let go of his grasp, taking a step back. "I'm not like the others. I'm not picture perfect, Josh. I fucking hurt you so bad; you should hate me. You're grieving," I swallow tears down as fast as I can, knowing exactly why he's grieving and knowing that it's my doing.

"You're exhausted, you don't think that you actually love me, do you?" I ask rhetorically, knowing that he couldn't love me. Hell, I don't even love me right now.

"How could you ever doubt that I love you? You must be crazy, blind, or both not to see how beautiful you are and perfect you are for me. Jen I'm more serious than I've ever been in my whole entire life," he pulls me close to where our lips our inches apart. "But you're right. You're not like those other girls. You're so much more. You're the only I want or will ever want."

Tears slowly form in my eyes, as well as his which are full of passion and, well, love.

I now believe him.

"I can't believe this," I choke on laughter as Josh's strong hands cup my face, "I never thought you'd love me back. I love you so much it hurts."

"Aw baby," Josh smiles as a tear hits his cheek, "I'm so fucking sorry; for everything. I've always loved you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I let you go one too many times and I'm never letting you go again. I love you so so much baby."

This is when our lips meet for the first official kiss and this time it isn't for a scene, a mistake, or out of confusion.

This one is full of not only passion, but true love.

I thought I knew what love was when I was with Nick, but that wasn't anywhere near how I feel right now.

I can't believe I'm in love with my best friend and he loves me back.

We kiss for a long while, I don't know for how long though. We spend the rest of the night snuggling on my hotel room bed, laughing, kissing, and reminding eachother of our love that is now out in the open.

And for once I actually get a full night of sleep for the first time in years.

I am the one who wakes up first, almost forgetting where I am, before I feel Josh's strong arms around me and find him sleeping peacefully by my side.

His eyes are closed, the stubble on his neck making me want to kiss every single spot on him. My eyes then travel to his mouth, which has the largest smile on it that I've ever seen which makes my heart leap.

Josh is so peaceful at rest, that I can tell that he needed the sleep as well.

I don't know how long I stare at his gorgeous face, but I guess for longer than I should've because without opening his eyes he speaks.

"Creeping on me while I sleep?" Josh states in the sexiest groggy, deep, morning voice I have ever heard while his mouth stays curved into a smile.

I almost look away embarrassed, but then realize I don't have to. There's nothing to hide now that all the cards have been set on the table.

"I can't help it," I laugh, "It's not everyday that I wake up next to the hottest man on the planet next to me."

This makes Josh's grin wider. "I don't know about the hot part for me, but I've for a pretty damn beautiful view from where I'm at right at the moment," he says pulling me to him, which I don't hesitate to.

Once he's pulled me as close as possible, and his head rests on the back of my shoulder, we sit in silence for only a short moment, taking in what has happened in the past hours, before I break the silence.

"Did I ever tell you how much I fucking love you?" I whisper so he can hear me and I feel his arms wrap around me tighter, which makes me smile like an idiot.

"Yes but the more I hear you say it, makes me never want you to stop," I laugh, turning my head to kiss him once more.

"Did you ever think that we'd be here right now? You and me?" Josh questions, kissing my neck. "Not in a million years," I laugh. "I never thought you'd feel the same."

I try to avoid Josh's eyes, but somehow they find mine. His brown eyes sparkle and send chills down my spine as he grabs my hand in his. "Are you kidding?!" he asks me as if I'm insane for saying so. "I am the luckiest fucking guy on planet and I have no clue why you'd ever consider me," his eyes show me that he's telling the truth as his other hand brushes over my shoulder.

Oh god he has no clue how much he gets to me.

Before I say anything stupid I press my lips to his without another word, even though what he said is nowhere near reality.

We lay in bed for the rest of the day and as his strong arms envelope me, sending my heart off and butterflies to fill my stomach, I can't imagine any moment more perfect than this.

I rest my head on Josh's chest, my smile nowhere close to fading anytime soon.

Everything in this moment is perfect.

And I never want it to end.

But all dreams have to end at some point.

Right?