rookie mistake || j.hn

the main causes of my stress

After I, you know, got rid of my dad, I had another idea. One that would teach the author a lesson.

How many extras could I kill off before the author got annoyed? A temporary fix, but one that I was excited to do. Did the author even know what was happening in the shadow? Maybe not... oh well! How would I know?

Yeah, I'm starting to see why Chanhee never lets me come up with plans.

It started with a lunchtime extra. He was specifically there for lunchtime. I killed him, but he just came back the next day. It was then the math teacher. I knew the chances were unlikely, but I just hated math that much. Unfortunately, nothing changed when the next math scene started. Extra after extra died just to come back the next day.

I was about to give up. There was one last extra on my list. And, as it turns out, that's what it took to get the author to pay attention.

I killed a little homeless girl. The one Juyeon walked past every day when going home. Changmin always made Juyeon give her money whenever they'd walk past her together.

Okay, I know it's cruel of me, but I didn't actually expect it to work after so many failed attempts! She was one of the ways that the author showed how Changmin changed Juyeon. She was even more significant that lunchtime extra, or even the math teacher.

And yet, when I next picked up the book and flipped through the pages, I discovered that Juyeon and Changmin had walked home together, and she wasn't there. Changmin had smiled and said something about him hoping that she found a home.

I found it so funny that I burst out laughing in the middle of the library, gaining a glare from the librarian.

After that day, more and more extras disappeared and were replaced.

—

Sunwoo pulled me aside one day. "Did you not heed my advice? Are you that dumb? You know that your friends are gonna figure it out one day, right? Other self-aware extras are scared. We're scared that one day, we won't return. And you're over here, killing them like it's a hobby?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's not like they have long, fulfilling lives ahead of them. No, the book will end one day, and so will we."

"You know what? Go ahead, keep killing them. When you get erased from the book, you'll see."

He crossed his arms and walked off. I ran a hand through my hair, feeling the urge to stamp my feet and throw a tantrum. "How does he know any of this? He doesn't get to tell me what to do! It's not like he's been in a bo–"

flip

Gee. Thanks, author.

I was in the hallway, at the front of a circle around Changmin and Juyeon. Juyeon was holding Changmin's wrist, Changmin facing away from him. Tears streamed down his face.

"Please, let me go."

"No. Why are you letting others dictate our relationship? Min, please. I know that you don't want this."

Changmin turned around slowly. "You're right, I don't. But what can I do if it's the only thing that keeps me from being hurt? Eric's left me alone recently. Everyone has. Being with you is ruining me."

Juyeon pulled the other in to his chest. "I won't let them hurt you anymore."

The two stayed there for a while, until Changmin pulled away. "I'm... I'm sorry."

He ran off, tears rapidly falling. The scene ended, but I watched Juyeon fall to his knees. Was he truly self-aware?

God, this is too much stress for my growing body. Just writing this makes me feel exhausted. Past me walked away, getting a chocolate bar from the vending machine. Now me is going to do the same.

Toodles, bitches.
~your lovely extra