"What do you mean you don't know where he is?" I smoked my cigarette. Watching it shake.
"I don't know where he is! He's gone. I told him about Harry and now, I don't know where he is. I woke up and he was gone. He's gone." I croaked out gripping the neck of the wine bottle tighter.
"Well, what happened?" My sister insisted.
"I started crying. I got frustrated. He told me he loved me, I told him I was scared he would leave and he told me he wouldn't. It's been two days. He's not picking up his calls - I'm even checking the fucking tabloids trying to find out where he is."
"And he didn't say where he was going?" Lucy asked.
"Nope, no note, nothing just that fucking Ace tucked into the corner of the bathroom mirror." I sighed and took another swig of the bottle.
"Cara, come home. We can order some food in, watch some movies - I don't think it's healthy to keep stressing about this. He loves you I'm sure he's just working or something."
I shook my head. "He's not working, I called his agent his mum, no one has seen him and I have to pretend I'm just checking in on him." I gulped. "I feel like a fucking idiot."
"You're not an idiot. Seriously, I've called you an uber get in it and come home. I've ordered from Ballato's, I've got Rebel Without A Cause ready to play. Get over here." And before I could protest again, she hung up on me.
I sat in the uber and put my headphones in. I looked up at the dashboard checking the time - 19:56. The radio was playing and the title took me by surprise. The driver tapping on the steering wheel. As It Was - Harry Styles.
I took my headphones out and leant my head back, the window down. It sounded better than I remembered.
A verse had been added to it and I was taken aback.
"Answer the phone. Harry you're no good alone. Why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?" The driver sang.
A pang in my chest crept up on me, I had never imagined that he would've been hurt to lose me. I had never even thought of it. And to think he would've resorted to such acts of self-harm broke me through and through.
I pulled out my phone and wrote something down.
I didn't have it in myself to go with grace
And you're the hero flying around, saving face
And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?
Cursing my name, wishing I stayed
Look at how my tears ricochet
I sent it over and found my phone buzzing immediately.
"Hey! Didn't expect you to call so soon." I laughed.
"Hey, well we're with Taylor now - so read it out, I mean come on Cara - this is insane." Estée Haim laughed. "We're just wrapping up in the studio but this is," she chuckled, "definitely something heartbreaking."
I chewed my cheek. "Does she like it?"
"Are you kidding me? I love it!" I heard none other than Taylor Swift, perhaps the most talented songwriter of my generation - shouting in the background.
"Look, clearly I want your input on this record, I know you're a key writer for Harry but seriously, I need poetry for this album and I know that's what you do." She sounded breathlessly excited.
"I'm sorry I just, I can't believe I'm actually talking to you right now." I rubbed my eyes in disbelief at the city passing me by.
"When can you meet?" Taylor insisted.
"Um, I've got a meeting tomorrow - but after that I'm all yours!" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"Well, perfect, come out to LA, and we can do some writing sessions, I've already got some ideas for this chorus melody wise. How about Friday, that work?" She asked.
"Yeah, Friday, yeah that works for me." I mean who in hell says know to Taylor fucking Swift.
"Perfect, I'll send you my studio address and then we'll go from there."
"Sounds amazing." I smiled.
"Can't wait to meet you Cara." She said before hanging up. Adrenaline coursing through me, I threw my head back laughing, and rushed out of the car running up the apartment steps to Lucy with my bag dragging behind me.
"Lucy! Lucy!" I called out banging on the door too excited to find my keys at the bottom of my bag.
The door swung open and there she was holding a bottle of champagne and the other hand on her hip.
"Well, someone's mood has changed hun." She smirked.
I laughed and kissed her on the cheek. Taking the bottle.
"I'm going to write with Taylor Swift."
She stood in awe, until finally she spoke. "Good thing you took the bottle because that'd be smashed on the floor if you said that before." She deadpanned.
I grinned at her and she let out a long shriek. "Wait what the fuck!" She grabbed me, nearly crashing the bottle against the wall. "Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my fucking god!"
I shook my head in disbelief myself.
"I know, I can't believe it either." I nodded, going into the kitchen and bringing out two mugs - popping the bottle open.
"When?" She asked breathless after taking a long sip.
"Friday!" I yelled, crashing our mugs together.
Lucy's smile faltered slightly, as she settled herself on our sofa cross legged.
"What?" I asked still smiling.
"Well, what about Timothée, what are you going to do?"
I sunk onto the arm of the sofa. "I don't know." Guilt running into me. "I hadn't even thought about him." I stared at the bubbles erupting from the bottom of my cup.
What about Timothée? Where had he gone? What was I going to do?
I looked up out the window.
And I can go anywhere I want,
anywhere I want - just not home.
