Before the fall

Finally In Sedona

45 minutes

Hand Sanitizer and Death.

That's what I think of when I hear the word "Hospital".

It's always unsettling setting foot in one, Lucky for me I was brought in by a gurney and four paramedics. I know you're probably thinking, "Who jokes about this shit". It's my way of coping with literally anything.

My eyes open. I look up and see the square pocket ceilings and white lights. My first thoughts are "Where are my parents?", "What happened?", "Am I dead?", "Is this Heaven?". But my third question is easily answered when I get a whiff of the room.

Hand Sanitizer and Death.

I turn to my right and see a woman in blue scrubs. I immediately wanna say she looks like a smurf but that would be pretty fucked up considering the situation I'm in right now. Instead I try my best to sit up, which even the slightest bit of movement hurts like hell. I say to her "Where am I?". She looks at me like she's the one who had been hit by a semi truck, she takes a small deep breath and says "Hi Violet, I'm doctor Paige Larsson, you're at the Verde Valley Medical Center. You were hit by a dry van semi-truck, unfortunately the driver was drunk. You have suffered minor wounds, but you do in fact have a minor concussion."

The rest was kind of a blur, I stopped listening after she started describing the type of medications I was going to be given to help my concussion and other meds that we're suppose to help my body that currently feels like it's been set on fire. I stop her in the middle of her ongoing medical speech and ask " Where are my parents?". She pauses and for a moment she doesn't know exactly what to say but then she finally answers my question. "Your father has a few cuts and bruises on his neck and is currently suffering from monoplegia". "What the hell is that?", "Is he gonna be okay?", I say. She looks at me and says "Monoplegia is a medically condition to where one limp is paralyzed, this happens when a part of the nervous system is damaged", "Now this can be treatable with physical therapy over the course of time, but there's no telling if he'll regain one hundred percent mobility in that leg again, if he's lucky maybe eighty- percent at most". I look at her with a blank stare and little to no emotion and say "And my mother?, Where is she?, How is she?". Dr. Paige stares back almost as if she wants to cry for me, she looks at me and says "Your mother went through the most impact from the crash, she's currently in a coma". I look at her and say, practically screaming "She's gonna be okay right?", "She'll wake up right?". Dr Paige tries her best to give me a warm, yet small smile and says "Time will tell, it's all up to her now".

25 minutes

Is how long it took me to convince Dr. Paige to let me see my parents.

She wheeled me to my father first he was pretty much awake, he was just staring at the ceiling in deep thought. I knock on the door as I'm being wheeled in, he breaks from his gaze and looks at me with a smile. "Hey buggy" He says with a smile and tears filling his eyes. "This isn't what I meant by wanting a new car" I say laughing. He chuckles and so does Dr. Paige.

Dr. Paige walks over to my dad to make sure he's feeling alright and asks if he wanted any stronger meds. He waves her off and instead says "Can I see my Juliana?". Dr. Paige pauses, but sees the sadness in my fathers eyes and doesn't hesitate to say "Of course, but only for a few moments, you have to get your rest too". She says with a smile. The nurses assist my dad into a wheel chair, then Dr.Paige starts to wheel me off, with my father following with the nurse wheeling behind.

We enter my mothers room.

She's hooked up to a ventilator that's controlling her breathing, she has bandages around her head and a few scratches on her face, but under all that she still looks like herself. My mom.

Dr. Paige and the nurses give us a few minutes alone and all lead out of the door closing it behind them. Dad and I each wheel ourselves over to her, I'm on my mothers left and my fathers on her right. We both hold her hand. My dad kisses each of her fingers and stops at her ring finger and whispers "Come on Juliana, wake up. We still have so much to do, so much to see. You still have to see our little buggy grow up, go to college, get married, have grandchildren. We're suppose to travel Europe together in our 70's and be the coolest old people on the Eiffel Tower. Wake up Juliana your time isn't over yet. Please lovey". He tries his best to keep it together, but he looks at her one last time and bawls his eyes, making his grey eyes look like a rare blood moon.

I lift her hand up to my face so that it's almost as if she's cupping it herself. I tear up a bit and say "Mom, Please wake up. Mommy. Please". Her hand twitches and her eyes flutter for a second. I look up and say "Mom". She opens her eyes and turns towards me and says "Vi" with the sweetest smile, the smile that's so inviting and makes you want to hug her so tight. My dad wipes his tears and says "Juliana, I love you so much", she shushes him and says " I know, but I can't stay for long. I feel it, this is the last stop for me, I'm just grateful I get to tell you that I love you so damn much, one last time". "Juliana, don't talk like that, we still have time you're here, I'm here. WE'RE HERE." My mom gives him the same smile she gave me, the sweetest one and grabs his face and pulls him in for what seemed like the last kiss ever, so passionate, filled with nothing but pure love. She looked at him one more time and said "I love you so much Thor, take care of our girl for me okay." She turns and looks at me. Before she could even say anything I say. "Mom please, Dad's right we still have time, don't talk like that". Again with that smile, she squeezes my hand and says " Violet, I'm so grateful to have been your mom. I love you. But promise me you'll break down those walls you've built up more people other than your dad and I deserve to hear your sweet laugh, to see your deep piercing dimples every time you smile, to see how funny you are, more people deserve a friend like you. So brave, so kind, so intelligent. I love you Vi, and it's only a matter of time before other people do too. Take care of each other. I'm always gonna be watching, look for me in the skies".

1 hour and 56 minutes

That's how long it took for me to lose my mom