The Soldier and The Spy: Jay Halstead - Episode 1

Chapter 10

The next time Tess pulled back Jay let her, silently following her downstairs and watching as she grabbed the kettle and put it on to boil; he didn't really want any tea and doubted that she did either but it was their ritual, partly because it allowed whoever was making it something else to focus on. And though she hid it well he knew Tess was nervous right now, knew she was trying to figure out the best way to start this next conversation, the explanation she thought she owed him. But the truth was he didn't need it. He wanted it of course, wanted to know what she'd been through and listen to her tell him how she'd overcome it but he didn't need to know, especially not when things were still so fresh. He could wait weeks if she wanted, months even.

Well, weeks.

Probably.

But that was his M.O, not hers. No, Tess dealt with things head on, diving straight into whatever plagued her. She'd always been like that and he'd always admired her for it. And since he could tell that was what she was preparing to do now he gave her some space and took a lap around the kitchen, familiarizing himself with where things were kept and investigating the little trinkets she had scattered about. She had three sets of salt and pepper shakers. One pair were clearly store bought while the other two were most definitely not, the first an obnoxiously red and purposefully tacky set of cartoonish lobsters and the other some kind of antique, bronze roughly engraved with waves and stars. They were his favourite. Slowly Jay made his way into the dining area and began to look at more of the photos she had up, eagerly taking each one in. There she was with Nysa, in Egypt judging by the pyramids in the background, and sitting in a cafe somewhere with a young East Indian girl. There was a hint of exasperation in her eyes, a look he knew well, but she was smiling just as broadly, holding the arm the girl had slung over her shoulders as she took the selfie. There was one with John and David, Michael and Coulson, Sam and Clara and Noah and Isiah, other people he didn't recognize but who she clearly considered family.

And there, centre place in the middle of the sideboard in a brand-new frame was a picture of their family. He and Tess and Mouse and Lydia, all squished together, smiling brightly and more than a little tipsily.

Jay remembered the moment like it was yesterday.

They'd been at Lydia's for dinner and since the women usually started drinking before they started cooking by the time dinner was over the four had shared half as many bottles, and since they'd known they were going to spend the night they decided to let loose and ended up sharing almost or slightly more than double that amount. And at some point, admittedly when was fuzzy, Lydia had demanded they take a family photo. She made Tess and Mouse set it up, it being several cookbooks atop a stool and a small iron statue on top of them which Tess's phone could rest against, and then they'd all piled on the sofa, Tess on his lap with her arm around Lydia and Mouse on the other side. In the picture she was a second post flicking him on the head, his friend just starting to wince while Tess beamed and he laughed, and there was Lydia right in the centre, somehow managing to have an arm around each of them.

They had been a family, her family, and they'd failed her.

He'd failed her.

"She loved you." Tess's voice startled him and he turned to find her staring at him softly. "Both of you. I know you know that but I needed to say it. She even included you in her will."

"She did?" Jay cursed the roughness in his voice as he walked back over, watching as she nodded, watching him even as she dropped a couple tea bags into the mugs she'd gotten out without him noticing, right next to the cream and sugar.

He should be paying more attention to her. It was her aunt they were speaking about, her blood, but... although there was pain in her eyes she didn't seem as wracked with it. Five years later it must be something she'd grown used to. She was even smiling slightly, though he realized why when she spoke again.