crush

Chapter 22

❝trust & goodbyes❞
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three words. there were three words that decided to make themselves known. three words that wasn't aware of the wreck it'd turn taeyong into. and no, it wasn't i love you. he wished those were the words that he read on his screen. he wouldn't mind the artificial words in attempt to persuade him. he knew that would hurt less.

the three words that he read were i'm finally gone, sent to him by the man he allowed himself to indulge in for too long. of course he'd listen to him when he really didn't mean it. the one time he breaks it off and it follows through. he didn't want it, at least he felt that way in the moment. he wanted to be back in the sin-filled car committing self deprecating actions. or maybe he was just insane, and didn't know what he wanted like any other person his age. they weren't far in years either. maybe jaehyun didn't know what he wanted either.

or maybe what he wanted wasn't taeyong? maybe he wanted johnny like taeyong wanted him. he felt what johnny felt towards him towards taeyong. this theory being true would mean he lied. and if he lied, an even more horrible truth would be that taeyong knew.

the teen didn't even feel the phone being thrown across the room from him. he didn't hear the cracks that sounded as it contacted against the wall trims. he only felt the false security he basked himself in, curling into a tight ball around himself. he didn't want jaehyun to leave. he wanted him to stay. fill all the pointless, useless feelings he conjured up in himself. nothing felt like it mattered anymore. jaehyun left him.

most of his thoughts mourned over the fact that he was gone, but the little thoughts that sheltered themselves from the storm in his head were still working. they thought about what would if happen if jaehyun stayed. this felt inevitable, as if he would still grow tired of the artificial feelings and he'd leave again. or what would happen if he didn't kiss him that day, would it even still be able to create the mess they made. guilty, taeyong could taste it in his tears.

"i'm so sorry jaehyun" he whispered softly to himself, allowing the dark to engulf him.

but unfortunately, the darkness was interrupted by a small silver of light on the ground. he didn't even bother to look at who it was. the only thing that mattered was the fact that jaehyun had left him.

"taeyong?" mark called out after opening the door. he grew a little worried when he didn't even flinch.

he walked closer to him, "taeyong? are you okay?" he asked again, looking aeound the room for any clues. the teen only shook his head but he didn't move anymore.

the cracked phone that laid against the wall caught his eye. he walked over to see what was on the screen.

"jaehyun.." mark muttered to himself with crinkled eyebrows. he looked back at the male laying on the bed, "what? why is he telling you that he's finally gone?"

"mark i really don't wanna talk about it right now.." taeyong's weak voice responded.

"well you're obviously not okay.." mark warily responded. his eyes kept scanning the messages between them and could only catch a gist of what happened between them.

taeyong sniffed, "don't you think i know?"

"no need to get snappy.." mark set the phone on the bedside table before climbing into the bed with him. he pulled him into the tightest hug he could.

"you don't have to tell me now but i'm all ears when you do" he added.

taeyong allowed himself to be engulfed his best friend's warmth. he couldn't find anymore strength to thank him, though he's sure mark understood that.

💔💔💔

"i really wish you could've saw it with your own eyes" donghyuck spoke to the boy laying under him, picking at the grass below them.

it's only the day after the impromptu rave date with mark, and it's the only thing donghyuck could think about. he hasn't talked to the older at all today but he really didn't mind. he believed that mark still had a life to live besides the things that went on between them.

"i'm still reeling at the fact that i wasn't invited" jaemin lightly pouted, his eyes focused on the light blue sky above them.

donghyuck shrugged, "i guess he only wanted me there"

"mark's best friend card is immediately revoked" jaemin snarked.

after the last words it went silent between the two of them. donghyuck could only think about one event while jaemin only allowed the conflicted feelings to circle his head until he felt dizzy. he just couldn't figure out where renjun would disappear to in the middle of the date, or what took so long that he couldn't come back at all. if he's to be honest he's felt that his mood lately has been off, and he thought that was something he wanted to talk about on his own. but now, jaemin felt worried.

"you've got that little crinkle in your brows, tell me what's wrong" donghyuck grunted while moving from his spot atop jaemin.

the younger's eyebrows unconsciously unfurrowed themselves after he made it known. he followed his actions, pulling his knees to his chest.

"do you really wanna know? i don't wanna bring down your mood when you're feeling so happy" jaemin quietly spoke to him, feeling his voice vibrate against his knees.

donghyuck fully sat up with him to show that he was concerned, "what do you mean? if you're feeling distressed then i can set aside my emotions for a moment to make sure you're okay" he assured him.

"tell me what's up" he added on.

"okay" jaemin sighed softly, "it's about renjun.."

donghyuck felt himself faltering just a bit at his words. is everyone finally starting to wake up and smell the roses?

"..what about renjun?" donghyuck responded after a while.

jaemin took note of his hesitation but continued explaining himself, "well, some time ago, we had a date together with jeno. in the middle of the date he just rushed out only saying he had something to do. we would be fine with it if he had came back but he didn't. and he barely even spoke to us throughout the portion he did stay for, do you know if anything's going on with him?" he warily asked.

"well i do know something" donghyuck saddened when he saw jaemin's eyes light up, "but i can't tell you.." he muttered.

"why not? is it anything bad? is he dying?"

"no! no" donghyuck sighed, "it's just something that would be better said to you by him. do you trust him, jaemin?"

"of course, i'd trust him with anything. i love him so much"

"then just wait on that, i promise he'll tell you" donghyuck comforted. jaemin nodded and fell back onto the grass.