Imagine yourself siting on your bed alone in your room. You aren't doing anythin in particular, just staring. Thoughts and painful memories are whiping trough your head. Your hands start getting a little shaky and you become overwhelmed with this mental pain. Everything seems so hopeless. Your life, dreams and happiness seem so far gone. That's when you hear the voice. It's a voice in your head that just adds on the pain, making everything seem like it's your fault. Telling how ugly, fat, stupid, annoying and worthless you are. You close your eyes but the voice doesn't stop. You clench your teeth but the pain is still there. Everything becomes too much. That's when the tears start coming. You look beside you, and there, sitting on your bedside table, is a blade. Shiny and sharp. You look at it for a few seconds, trying to resist the strong urge. Then the voice starts telling you how much you deserve it, you deserve the harm and you deserve to feel worthless, because you are. You break down completely now. Shaking and sobbing. Picking up the blade, you feel its power in your hands. The blade touches your skin and the coolness of the metal gliding trough your skin gives you instant relief. You can feel yourself opening up and you become so focused on the blood pouring out of you and the pain that feels so good. The voice starts to fade. Only slightly. But still better than nothing. Your body feels the stinging and you are reminded that you are alive. The tears on your cheeks start to dry as you tear open your skin even more and deeper. Blood is dripping all over you and your bed sheets, but you don't care because this pain is irresistible and you deserve it. When you're done you lay still on your bed, numb, trying to catch the blood dripping out of you, before it stains your bed sheets even more. Looking at all of your blood makes you feel like a monster. You broke down and gave in. You feel worthless and the tears start rolling down once again. You ask yourself "What have I become?" You're crying but the voice in your head says "Look at all that blood, good job." And that's when your demons take over your thoughts and you become possessed by this voice. You become possessed by your blade. You become obsessed by your blade, addicted to your blade.
That's what cutting is like.
