The Soldier and The Spy: Jay Halstead- Episode 2

Chapter 5

Jay had been right.

He was not enjoying dinner.

Don't get him wrong the meal itself was going fine, that is if he ignored Carol's teasing glances and Will's ever-present smirk, and of course the glaring absence of the woman who should have been sitting across from his father, though to be honest he was more focused on the woman beside him. Tess was handling herself amazingly, as he was learning was pretty normal for her, but he still didn't like it. Didn't like seeing a side of her that could act so perfectly fine when he knew she wasn't. The look on her face when Will had walked in on them was still etched in his mind, as was the way she'd flinched away from him.

She'd been afraid of him and no wonder- he hadn't even asked to kiss her, had just grabbed her like some sex-fuelled Neanderthal, without any thought to what she wanted, if she even liked it-

Okay, that wasn't fair.

She had liked it. Had liked him kissing her and touching her- that kind of reaction couldn't be faked. And she had given him permission to take her shirt off. He never would have otherwise. But that look... just because she'd liked it, because she'd wanted it in the moment didn't mean she was ready for it. He knew what she'd been through with Selim and his men, still woke at night hearing her scream and just because none of them had actually touched her didn't mean they hadn't terrified her with the threat of it. And that was just the operation he knew of. Who knew what else she'd experienced.

War was not kind to women, civilian or soldier, never mind all the other shit they had to deal with in their everyday lives. The thought that he could have added to that in any way made him sick.

He'd tried to talk to her about it. Had waited outside the bathroom until she came out, which by the looks of it she'd been expecting but before he could stop her from dodging him, which it also looked like she'd intended on doing again Carol had called them down. So now here he was, doing his best to make small talk when all he wanted was to drag her into her car and drive as far away as possible.

"She sounds wonderful! I'd love to meet her."

"Aunt Carol-"

"What? Really Jay, you needn't get so possessive." His annoyance flared when Will snorted, his brother covering the sound with a cough. "All I'm saying is that her aunt sounds like a very nice woman-is that so wrong? You know when we were your age it wasn't so easy for a woman to have her independence. Do you remember how mad Daddy got when I turned down Ian's proposal?"

Seeing the attention was now on him his dad nodded and gave a quiet grunt; Jay was sure they were the only ones who wanted this evening over with as quickly and painlessly as possible.

"I thought the vein in his neck was going to pop he threw such a fit." Carol continued. "Mom too. She thought Ian was so nice, and he was- worked down at the mill until it closed and raised seven girls, God bless him. But he wasn't for me. Not enough fire."

Jesus Christ.

He nearly gagged at her sly smile, the one she purposefully shot all around the table, but unlike the rest of his family Tess didn't seem disgusted in the slightest.

"Well I for one agree with you. I think you and Lydia would get along fabulously." She told his aunt with a grin.

"Then it's settled. The three of us will have coffee together. Better yet, wine. Jay, you can be our designated driver."

He just sighed in response and gave his aunt a resigned nod, no doubt he would be roped into being the women's DD, then shot his brother a glare when Will snorted again, kicking him when he only proceeded to laugh harder, so much that he nearly choked on his food. Served him right. As everyone went back to eating he stole a glance at Tess, surprised to see she met his stare- she seemed fine, she was smiling at least, but he wanted a minute alone with her to be sure.