The Soldier and The Spy: Jay Halstead- Episode 2

Bonus Scene

Thirteen Years Ago

This was stupid.

All he had to do was walk up, put the letter in the mailbox and walk away. Simple. No one was going to see him, he just had to get out of his truck and do it.

With one more heavy breath he jumped out of the cab, keeping his head down as he shuffled across the street towards the brownstone. He was so nervous he actually fumbled with the lid, the harsh clang of metal making him decide he'd rather just run to the post office but of course he only made it a few steps before a voice called out from behind him, stopping him cold but also filling him with an uncomfortable but undeniable warmth.

"Jay! Is that you?"

The grin on Lydia's face when he sheepishly turned back around made it very clear she knew it was, and that she'd caught at least the tail-end of his blunder.

Great.

"Hey Lydia- how are you?"

"I'm doing good, thank you. How about you? Dropping off your next letter?"

"Yeah, I-... Yeah."

She tried to smother it but her smirk grew, even wider when his cheeks started to burn. She seemed to enjoy his discomfort just as much as his own aunt would have but there was a perceptiveness in her stare Carol didn't have, which was maybe why she took pity on him.

"You shipping out soon?"

Or that was.

"Tomorrow."

The day had finally come and Jay was ready for it. He'd been ready pretty much ever since Tess had returned to her own ops three weeks ago, the awkward silence that had filled their house since his mom's passing too much for him to bear without her chatter to fill it. He'd tried talking to his dad, mostly just about sports because that was the one thing they could agree on, and the one thing she had asked of him, but their conversations only ever lasted a few minutes before that quiet crept back over them.

He would rather spend his days listening to bombs and AK-47's than spend another minute in that awful stillness.

But that was him.

Lydia tried to hide it but she looked like the news made her sick, more concern than he'd expected given they'd only met a couple times. But she knew what he meant to her niece, not to mention it'd be a pretty shitty person who didn't show any concern for a soldier going off to war, much as he hated it when people expressed their gratitude. The word hero was one that made him extremely uncomfortable- unless it was Tess saying it. The first time she'd done it had been about a week after he'd rescued her and it'd been the closest he'd come to blushing in years, which now that he knew her better was probably why she insisted on calling him one; she always gave him the same look when she did, this irritating, perplexing and God damn enticing mix of sweet playfulness and fiery determination. There was something similar in the way Lydia looked at him and that combined with the already uncanny physical resemblance meant he was helpless when she straightened and gave him another grin.

"Guess that means you can't refuse a cup of tea now huh?"

"No ma'am."

"You know, part of me wants to say I'm not that old, but the other part really likes that."

Oh yeah.

Definitely like her niece.

He still felt shy as she ushered him inside and couldn't help tracking her as she sat him at the island and set about making their drinks. She might be a lot like Tess but she also reminded him of Carol, strong-willed with a deep love of family and zero filter, but because she wasn't actually his blood and didn't have a lifetime of embarrassing knowledge Jay was able to slowly relax. A little. She still had a wicked sense of humor and he wasn't quite sure what she'd say, especially since her niece wasn't around to keep her in check.

"So Tess said you lead your own platoon?"

"Yes ma'am."

Lydia shot him a look and he instantly felt his cheeks start burning again. "Yes, I do."

"Mm. I'd like to think that means you're farther away from the fighting but from what I've gathered you're the type to throw yourself right into the thick of it aren't you?"

"Uh..."

"Yes ma'am?"

Fuck his cheeks were hot.

But once again she took pity on him, though there was a softness in her gaze that told him it wasn't just him she was thinking about. "You take cream or sugar?"

"Uh, yes please. Cream. And sugar."

He actually didn't drink tea so he wasn't sure, but he'd figure it out. It was only one cup.

"So how long is your deployment?"

"One year."

"I want to say that's not bad, but I don't actually know if that's true."

"It's pretty standard." That probably wasn't what she was referring to but Jay didn't know how to answer anything else. And it wasn't like he had a lot of questions for her, although... "Do you know when Tess'll be back next?"

The shadow that crossed her face said no and Lydia gave a slight shrug as she poured the water into their cups. "She gives me a window of when to expect her, but never anything exact. It's all very cloak and dagger."

That was standard too, but he had the feeling the agency took secrecy to a whole other level.

The CIA didn't mess around.

But he didn't know what he could say that would alleviate her worry, despite the ease he had with Tess he wasn't great at comforting, and before he could figure it out she brought their mugs over and took a seat next to him.

"You know this whole thing came out of left field to me. It probably shouldn't have, she's been surprising me since she was born- even came three weeks early. But I was just the cool, fun aunt. All I had to do was make sure she didn't accidentally kill herself on my watch and talk about boys." Her wink made him flush, again, but then her face got sad, in a look he knew well. Too well. "And then Evie died-"

"Evie?"

"Evelyn. Her mom's name. And her middle name."

Theresa Evelyn Danvers.

It was pretty. And it felt right, much as the reminder of her loss and his own made his heart give a sharp ache. His first instinct was to shut down but... Tess hadn't done that. Hadn't let him do that either. How could he not even try to give a bit of solace to the woman who'd done that for both of them?

"She hasn't told me much about them, but she did mention how grateful she was to have you. And I can't think of anyone who would have handled their seventeen-year-old coming home with a tattoo as well as you did."

Lydia let out a startled laugh, looking pretty pleased with herself as she nodded and took a sip of her tea. "Well, wildness runs in our family. And Tess... Fuck, that kid puts the rest of us to shame."

Now it was his turn to laugh, even as his heart gave another throb.

She really was incredible.

"I wasn't expecting it when she said she wanted to join the agency, and yet as soon as she told me I wasn't surprised. Didn't like it right away, but I wasn't surprised. I know what she's capable of. And now I know she's got good people looking after her." She gave him a sidelong glance that brought the heat right back to his cheeks, fuck she was good at that, then bumped her knee against his before she swiveled around to look at him more fully. "It is very selfish of me to ask but... I know how she feels about you so, if you could try not to throw yourself in front of too much I would appreciate it."

"I'll be as safe as I can be."

It was all he could promise her, all he'd been able to promise Tess, but Lydia's smile told him it was enough.

"Good. And when you get back you come for another cup of tea, alright?"

"Yes ma'am."