Loud Silence

Chapter Nineteen

TAYLOR

"Damn it, you know it was real! Everything was real, Jasmine! You can't tell me we faked anything of that!" She's horrified, her eyes hurting me more than any words she can possibly say. She looks at me like I am a demon, luring her into purgatory.

Can't she understand, I've never meant for any of this to unfold in a manner that it did? But how can any human on earth be disciplined enough when deep desires coax them into a series of decisions—decisions that have led to this moment.

"Your father left us as orphans, beaten and tortured, living through agony every day for fourteen years!" she cries to me. "But none of that compared to how his son pretended to be the hero of a fatal story that his father caused! No, you don't get to tell me how you feel, you freak!"

Freak. My entire body has been frozen into an utter dismay of shame and disappointment. I am a freak. What other explanations can there be to why I have continued communication with her after she was released from the hospital?

It's true that when she came bursting through the door of the ER, I was shook to read the name of the patient lying lifelessly on the stretcher, hoping that the fate of the girl, whose family my father had killed, did not result in the injury that was visible throughout her entire body.

I have learned their names when awoken from the accident, the officers informing my father that there were no survivors besides the two of us. Those names were engraved in my brain, repeating on a daily basis, never letting me forget that my heinous father had destroyed two families in a matter of seconds.

Any sane human being would have stepped away, removing themselves from the equation that would result in a disastrous ending. But after her sister confirmed the death of their parents and the abominable consequences that developed from my father's crime, I couldn't just leave her there, day after day, with the possibility that she would wake up scared and alone.

When Nurse Sammie told me the "coma girl" just woke up, I had raced down the hall and stood outside her door, watching her magnificent cinnamon-colored eyes wander the room, her face stricken with grief and heartache. Even though I reminded myself to stay detached and treat her like I would any other patient, her story to the detective had filled me with a burning rage and hunger to strangle that pathetic Tim with my bare hands, so I can watch the life drain from his eyes as it had on hers.

My feelings proved to be beyond my control when I had learned that she was discharged from the hospital, frantic that I would never get to see her beautiful face again, worried that she will forever wear the frown that makes my heart aches a thousand times over.

My foolish feelings had led me to her house, thus, leading us to a spiraling sequence of events filled with unforeseen despondency, yet enlightened by moments of pure bliss and contentment. But none of it matters because she has ran away from me, as if she has witnessed the appearance of the devil himself.

"Taylor, go after her," Violet yells at me.

I shake my head, ashamed to face the girl that I have afflicted so much pain on, but then realizing that she could be hurt, and that she had not driven her car here.

Running as fast as I could after her, I see the front door left wide open, as I chase her footprints in the snow, down the pathway, up the sidewalk, only to see that it has disappeared on the corner of the street. She must have hailed a cab or something, or was she taken? My mind has become delirious, and I just want to know that she is safe.

Rushing to my car, I text Violet to let her know that I'm heading back to my place and for her to catch a rideshare with Max back to their house in case Jasmine was there, which she quickly replied in agreement.