Distorted Affliction

Chapter Six

"What are we doing here?" I asked, exasperated as I leaned against the solid wood of the bar, flagging the bartender from the other end to order a drink. It had been months since I had found myself sitting on a stool, demanding something strong to drown the sorrows of defeat. It didn't seem like Sin had come here for the same thing I did, and I watched as his eyes took in every ounce of the bartender as she glided down to make my drink.

"Can I get you somethin' to drink, sir?" The bartender batted her lashes at him, and I tilted my head to watch the interaction with curiosity. He reached across the bar, gently brushing her forearm with the tips of his fingers, his gaze never leaving her's. I could see the way her expression relaxed, I could see the fog that seemed to settle across her eyes.

"Yes, I think you can. Don't move, this won't hurt at all," he whispered, lifting her wrist to his lips and sinking his teeth in. He was very gentle, careful, it seemed, to pay attention to how quickly he was drinking, how much he was taking. I could see the look of pleasure that crossed her face, and I recalled the feeling of his teeth in my skin, the way it felt more euphoric than what it should have. Sin closed his eyes for a moment before pulling his head back and returning her arm to her.

He wiped a spot off of his bottom lip and handed her a napkin, followed by an apology so quiet I barely missed it. Sin was much softer than I had initially believed him to be, which seemed fair considering he had driven me off the road during our first interaction.

"What's that look for?" he asked, reaching over the counter to pour himself a glass of whiskey on the rocks. "Not what you were expecting from a creature who survives off of human blood?"

"Actually," I said, clearing my throat and glancing away for a moment. "I was just remembering what it felt like."

Sin leaned his head sideways to look at me, as if I were a puzzle he couldn't figure out, a story he couldn't guess the ending to. His face gave nothing away to how he felt or what he was thinking, and I wondered again how it was that this creature, so gentle and yet intimidating, could have stumbled into my life. Who was he, and how was it that we knew each other?

"So," I started, turning to lean my back against the bar as I looked across the nearly empty room. "We missed Lucas, what's the plan now?"

"Do you happen to know where he's at when he's not lurking in the woods?" he asked, drinking his whiskey in one deep gulp before turning back to me.

"Not even a clue where to start," I admitted. "Honestly, when we went separate ways I never tried looking for him. He didn't reach out, so neither did I. It just seemed like he bailed on me when I needed him the most, and I think I'll always hold resentment towards him for it."

"What happens if he answers all of your questions," Sin started, his gaze penetrating me to the core. "And it turns out that he didn't leave for the reasons that you believe he left? What happens if he isn't the bad guy?"

I took a deep breath and looked away. It had crossed my mind that he had taken my memories to spare me, or to keep me safe from whatever creatures were lurking that weren't as conscious as Sin. I wanted more than anything to believe that he had changed my memories, altered my reality for some bigger reason, that he was saving our son from some tragic fate. No part of me wanted to believe that Lucas, after seven years of marriage, could bail as quickly as he had without a much bigger reason.

"I don't know," I finally breathed, shrugging as my mind processed the idea. Then I turned to him, looking deep into his eyes, searching for whatever connection we had, knowing that he had seen every bit of what I had felt in those moments of the fire. "Sin, it doesn't matter if the memories are real, or if all of it is a lie and Silas is fine. What I felt, what I remember feeling, what I still feel? Those emotions are still very much real, they exist, they're palpable, unexplainably painful, and I've had to live with this torture for seven months.

"No," I continued. "I don't think it matters if he turns out to be the good guy here, because he still left me, he still let me feel like this, and he made me do it alone. What kind of person could do that to their partner? To promise them forever, through thick and thin, and when it gets complicated? He fabricated a story in my mind, allowed me to suffer, and then had the audacity to call out of the blue, as if death didn't seem much easier than existing with this idea that I lost my mind and burned my house down with my infant inside."

I was breathing heavy as the anger boiled inside of me. I had wanted so badly to find Lucas before making a judgement about his actions, but the more I thought about it, the more his version of the truth didn't matter to me. He had gone about his life, and my entire world had ended. I wanted him to feel an ounce of the pain that I had--

"August." Sin's voice was stern, and yet I could hear the concern painted in between the syllables of my name. When I looked up at him, he was watching the lights in the bar flicker rapidly, the bottles on the shelves behind the bar rattling hard enough to collapse and shatter across the floor. I jumped away from the bar, my hands shaking as the lights stopped, the bottles finally resting, but I could feel Sin's eyes watching me, gauging my response.

I blinked for a moment and then turned on my heel and marched out of the bar. It didn't take a genius to deduce that I was coming back into touch with other parts of myself that I hadn't realized existed. Somehow, the knowledge didn't surprise me, and maybe that was because of the vague hints Sin had dropped, or maybe I had just had enough shock for a lifetime. I was pretty willing to roll with anything at that point.

Sin's presence was felt before it was seen, something I was starting to get used to the longer I was in his proximity. He made no move to ask me how I felt, and I appreciated him more for that.

"I'm a witch, aren't I?" It wasn't exactly a question, because I knew the answer before he offered it.

"You are," he said with a curt nod and a matter of fact tone. "Descended from a long line of power, your family hails from Salem, and even before that, the Bishop name has held respect in our world for centuries."

"If you knew the whole time who I was," I started, turning to him. "Why didn't you say anything?"

There was a moment of silence between us, and I felt anger flare inside of me. He had acted as though he didn't have answers, as if Lucas were the only one who could tell me who I really was. Yet, he stood before me with more answers than he wanted me to believe, knowledge that he was refusing me about who I was.

The air began to grow cold, the sky darkening with clouds overhead. Something in the back of my mind registered that it was my doing, but even as the wind picked up around us, I couldn't control the power that flowed through me. Ice formed in patches along the asphalt at our feet, and I looked into Sin's eyes one more time, hoping he would give me the answers before I hurt him.

"I'm sure you're upset with me," he answered slowly, concern flickering in his eyes for a split moment. "I want to tell you everything I know, please believe that."

"Then tell me," I demanded, feeling the slow but hard drops of rain as they began to fall from the sky. Before I knew it, the drops had frozen in the air, and when they landed, they stung as they sliced into my skin.

"It's not that simple," Sin said apologetically. "When Lucas compelled you, he altered more than just a couple of memories. August, he made you forget major parts of your life, compelled you to remember complex memories. That kind of compulsion runs deep inside of your mind; think of it as a magic grip on your psyche, and if you rip that away too quickly...the effects are dangerous. While I want you to have all of the answers, I can't give them all to you, and what I do have, I have to be very careful with right now.

"I know you don't remember," he continued. "But there was a time when you trusted me, and if there was ever a time for you to remember something, that would be it. Just trust me, I'm not going to let you go through this alone."

There was a fog that fell over my brain, and I recognized the trance immediately. It was as if he was holding my mind underwater, not quite compulsion, just a dazed feeling that I couldn't shake. When it lifted, I felt Sin's cold fingers touch my neck and realized what he was doing. For his compulsion to work, he needed to maintain physical contact. I couldn't control my power, so he needed to control me. I welcomed the touch, glancing up into his eyes before he leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"Sleep."