Distorted Affliction

Chapter Thirty Two

In the end, I made the decision that Silas was safer if he was in Irvington, even if it meant he was still closer to the action than I would have preferred. Though I didn't trust my mother all that much, I had faith in Ophelia that she could make the right calls to protect him if something happened. She promised as much, several times over, as we readied ourselves to leave again.

Before parting ways though, I took an extra half hour or more to say my goodbyes to Silas. It had become increasingly apparent that I might not live long enough to make it back to him. If things went the way I was hoping, I would be picking him up soon enough and our family could carry on once more. On the off chance that things didn't go the way we were intending, I needed Ophelia to understand the responsibility she was taking on.

"Hey," I called to her, pulling her to the side away from my mother and the others, though I knew well enough that the two Mouri could still hear any conversation we held. "In case this doesn't go well--"

"I know," Ophelia said gravely, her face solemn. "I understand the risks, and the duties you're entrusting me with."

"Thank you," I whispered, taking her hand in mine. She gave me a soft smile in return, pulling me into a tight hug. "I'm really sorry for all the mess I've made. I'm going to clean it all up, I promise."

"I don't blame you for this," Ophelia answered kindly. "Evil will always be evil, if it wasn't this it would have been something else. It's our job to keep the balance."

I appreciated her rationalism, though I still felt like the weight of responsibility fell on me in the end. While Lazarus surely would have been a threat to this world regardless of Silas, I had painted us a target, essentially calling for the evil to come find us.

"August," my coven sister called before I had turned away from her entirely. "Thank you for trusting me with Silas. No matter what anyone else thinks, you're a phenomenal mother to him, and one day he's going to appreciate you the way the rest of us do. The sacrifices you've made, the sacrifices you continue to make...it's no small feat, the things you're willing to do to protect him, and the rest of us. The others, they said you were selfish, but all I see when I look at you is compassion, devotion, and resilience. If Lazarus has any sense to him, he should be terrified. I know I would be, if I dared stand between you and your family."

"You are my family," I reminded her, turning back for the car before she could catch the tears brimming in my eyes.

The drive back felt much longer than the fifteen minutes I knew it was. The weight of responsibility was heavy on my chest, and I was grateful that Sin had offered to drive, because I wasn't sure I could have focused on the task. I wanted to live up to the image Ophelia had in her head of me, to be the woman Sin had described or the witch Demidicus had promised my ancestors would be proud of. I wanted to prove the Council and the parts of my coven that doubted me wrong, to rise above all of this and return a hero.

It wasn't that I wanted the praise or the recognition for saving the day. I didn't need them to build a temple in my honor when all of this was said and done. I just wanted to live in peace with my family, to raise my son to be everything he was destined to be, to experience what rest was after running for what seemed like an eternity. I couldn't even remember what my life had been like before, regardless of the recent return of my memories. It seemed so distant, like a different life altogether, and I supposed it was.

It had never really occurred to me just how badly I wanted the opportunity to explore a life with Sinclair, to test the waters with Demidicus. Every part of me wanted to live, to experience life, to wake up in a cabin in the mountains and make a nice homemade breakfast for my son. My heart yearned to teach him how to grow his own herbs, to show him how to make an offering to the spirits, to be there every day to answer his questions about his magic.