Distorted Affliction

Chapter Fourteen

My memories were heavy, like a weight pressing down on me as the puzzle pieces clicked into place. I could feel myself falling back into the person I was before Lucas had taken my memories. It was as if the compulsion had caused a block between me and my magic, and the deeper into my memories I slipped, the more in touch I felt with my power. I could remember how to regulate myself again, how to harness the deepest parts of myself, and not just in a fight or flight situation.

I felt more in touch with myself than I had in a very long time, and I wanted to hate Lucas for making me that way, but I knew it wasn't his fault. I also knew that, while we weren't good for each other, there were moments when we worked well as a team. There were times when he was gentle with me, even after learning that he wasn't Silas's father, when Lucas had promised that he would do everything in his power to make sure he would grow up.

"I know we've had our share of differences," Lucas whispered, pulling his gaze away from Silas's small hand wrapped tightly around his index finger. "And I'm sorry for the way things have gotten between us."

"Lucas," I started, but he stopped me before I could say anything else.

"No, August," he said. "I need you to know that I don't hate you. I need you to know that you can trust me, that Silas will always be able to trust me. I might not be his father, but I'm not a complete asshole. He deserves to have a life, to grow up and have a chance to fight for himself and choose his place in this world. I'm always going to be here for you, and for him."

"I know," I said softly, giving him a gentle smile. "Thank you for doing this for me, for sacrificing everything for us."

"I'll always love you," he responded, his tone kind, the way I always liked to remember him being. "I know things didn't work out between us the way we promised each other it would, but I'll always love you, and I'll always want the best for you. Besides, if everything goes right, you can just reverse the spell and make me human again. You're a Bishop, you have the capabilities of harnessing that kind of power. I believe in you, we all do."

It didn't seem fair, that we had spent so long being so cruel to each other, but when the time came, Lucas gave up his life to protect a child that wasn't even his. Beyond that, the child of the creature he despised, regardless of how much I loved Sin. I had to give him the benefit of the doubt, because through everything, he had stuck by my side, even when he didn't want to.

Even when Lazarus had sent Mouri to attack us in our home, Lucas had stood and fought, as a human with the understanding that if he died, there would be no coming back. He fended off the creatures that had found us tucked away, deep in the Montana forest, willing to risk it all.

And even the night when everything was changing, when our plan had been set into motion and I set fire to the house that we had spent months fighting in, he was honorable. He did everything the coven and I asked of him, gave up his life and then, after weeks of prior compulsion to prepare us, he set into motion the lie that we used to save Silas. Lucas's actions were the reason my son was alive to see another day.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Lucas asked, his voice quiet in the darkness. His fingers brushed my arm, and I shivered at the cold touch on my skin.

"No," I answered honestly. "But this is what he needs."

My heart ached as I looked down into the eyes of my son, longing to stay there a moment longer. There was danger lurking, though, and our time was running out. How much longer would it be until they found us here, hiding amongst the ashes of what had once been our home?

"There's no going back," Lucas reminded me once again, and I felt my head nod in acknowledgement. "Once this is done, I can't take it back."

"We've already crossed the point of going back now," I whispered, leaning down to kiss Silas's head one more time before handing him off to Lucas. "This is the only way to keep him safe. I trust that you'll do everything in your power to keep him out of danger, and when the time comes..." My voice trailed off as I looked away into the night.