STILL SEPTEMBER 2022 I want to page back and give LOUIS TOMLINSON MAD RESPECT

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AND, to give to him, a Thank You Once again, for Saving My Life, since 2019...

Dedicated to Cee my chingu...


When i searched for Louis' earlier works, i found the above song; and for me, I was blown away by the incredible natural musical sounds of a sixteen year old Louis Tomlinson.

It was the first Solo song of his of a familiar Song; and the first real example of his unique vocals and range. Even though it was a Cover, i was blown away the first time i had ever heard Louis singing it.

And, in the below song, the tears didn't fall, or cascade downward gently.

THEY POURED.


Like a nasty deluge, giving me a full on, ugly cry; complete with a messy, snotty face, the works.

I cried SO HARD, my chest HURT. ACHED. I gasped in deep breaths, trying to stop.

And once again, as i felt his Angelic lyrics pick me up; and hold me close with words i could understand and feel; and as i felt that sense of comfort, understanding, and acceptance, with zero barriers, i realized Louis NEVER judges his Fans, or listeners, so that made it easier to shut down the LOUD, MEAN and NASTY voices in my mind; filled with CRUEL and unnecessary words, that came from REAL people in my life. These people have ALWAYS judged me; and have NEVER, for one nano second of my life, let or allowed me forget, just what, how and WHY they HATE me so much.

Although i have never been 'up high' or 'needing to be talked down'; SEVERAL TIMES IN MY LIFE, i HAVE been about to do something REALLY stupid and get behind the wheel, even though i was in NO shape to drive; and it was lucky for me, i had friends and strangers, who felt it was their job to try and stop me from doing so.

And as i was eventually talked out of my car keys as a young and then older teen, each time this happened, *and it had, a lot* no matter how combative i got about it, they prevented me from doing so; and talked me out of my 'demise wish.'

See, when you are the misunderstood and odd one; the Black sheep, the trouble maker, the freak and weirdo in your family, a lot of the stress of this, the unfairness of it; and the actual WISH you have boiling inside of you, to be, away from it.

SO FAR beyond the claw like reach of it's cruel and hurt-filled pull, to 'just do 'them' ALL a HUGE favor; and get it over with.

Or just slowly disappear; tune out, and don't fight back.

To let it finish it; and as THEY push for you to change; to be ANYTHING than what, and who you are.

And no matter how hard you try, they make it harder to escape. 'Cause you are their food, their folly. ALL of YOUR mistakes, they LOVE to line up against you, and remind you of them, daily.

Even once you hit the adult stages in your life, this never ending TOUR to HELL on earth is NEVER over.

And they, will NEVER stop reminding you about how, You will NEVER fit.

You will NEVER find the way to escape their unwelcome negativity; especially now that the dregs of the 2020 plague called CV 19 exists still, in 2022.

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