Paradise in You | sope

paradise found | four

When Yoongi woke up the following day, Hoseok was still fast asleep, arm securely wrapped around Yoongi's waist. Yoongi smiled, letting his head continue to rest in Hoseok's chest, remembering the first time he'd woken up in Hoseok's arms had been when they'd ventured to Lake Texoma. It felt so long ago, even though it had only been in November. It surprised him how fast everything had changed. He wondered what his parents would do if they found out Yoongi was sleeping in the same bed as Hoseok. Knowing them, they'd freak out. To what extent, Yoongi wasn't too sure. The way everything had changed had been too fast for Yoongi to process, and Yoongi didn't know how long it would take for the high he was currently on to fall.

He was sure this was how Adam and Eve felt the first time they'd fallen to sin. After being ashamed of their nakedness, they'd woven outfits for themselves and continued to live until they were finally caught. Would Yoongi have to attempt to cover himself up until his inevitable fall? How careful would he have to be? How limited were Hoseok and Yoongi? They weren't in a relationship, but they weren't just friends anymore. In all honesty, they hadn't been "just friends" for a bit now.

Any doubt Yoongi had about his feelings for Hoseok was washed away. Memories from yesterday flooded into Yoongi's mind faster than he could comprehend, and his cheeks warmed remembering the kiss they'd shared, and though the night had taken a sour turn, they'd managed to turn it back around. Now they were here. It felt surreal— it was surreal, and Yoongi feared all he had to do was blink for everything to disappear.

Hoseok looked so beautiful asleep. Serenity laced his sleeping expression, a hint of a smile on his lips as he continued to sleep. His hair was scrawled messily over his forehead, hooding his closed eyes from the sun that had begun to seep through the windows. Hoseok had always been a deep sleeper; even if the sun were beating down on him, he wouldn't budge. Yoongi couldn't believe it. This was the person he loved the most. The person he'd loved for who knew how long and only just realized it.

His fantasy had entailed having a woman by his side. Marrying a girl that practiced the same religion as him, settling down, having as many kids as possible because the church always encouraged pro-creation, and then he'd work for the rest of his life to support them. The vision had disappeared, falling out of Yoongi's grasp no matter how tight he had been grasping the idea of it. It had disintegrated into nothing more than fantasy, and it saddened Yoongi, but not because he wished to have the dream. It was the only dream that would make his parents happy. The only future where Yoongi would have his parents' support.

He knew that his parents' love was conditional. They'd separated Yoongi and Hoseok when they were younger to stop what was happening between them now. If they were willing to go to far lengths to ensure that Yoongi remained on the 'right' path, then Yoongi knew if they were to ever find out about the one thing they tried to prevent, they would lose it. They'd already tried kicking him out, and they hardly looked in his direction. The only time they acknowledged him was when he decided to go to church with them, where they'd quickly tried to find someone who, ironically, was in similar boats to Yoongi.

"I can practically see the smoke coming out of your ears, Yoon," Hoseok mumbled, stifling a yawn. Yoongi broke out of his thoughts and gave Hoseok a soft smile. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just thinking about everything," Yoongi murmured. "This is what my parents wanted to avoid. It's why they separated us. It's weird to say that my parents had known how things would turn out before they turned out that way."

"Can I be honest?"

Yoongi nodded.

"I think we've always liked each other," Hoseok said without missing a beat. "I figured it out first, and when I told my parents, they'd told yours. I think they knew I had romantic feelings for you, and they thought the best way to stop you from feeling the same was to pull us apart when they realized that the conversion therapy place they'd sent me hadn't done anything to fix me. I mean, it worked."