Hello, my name is Loser

Chapter 10: Party! Party! Party!

The moment I pass over the threshold I feel my senses overload. People are packed into my brother's house like sardines, shoulder to shoulder. The place is warm and it smells like everyone is feeling the heat. Body odor mixes with the smell of weed and beer. For once I'm grateful for my tallness as I scan above the bobbing ocean of heads.

A stray elbow hits me in the ribs and I stumble to the side, right into Bobby. I feel his hands steady my shoulders, and I look up. He's mouthing something but it's so loud I can only shout back, "WHAT?"

He leans down, lips warm against my ear, "Are you okay?" I feel a rush of heat unrelated to the temperature of the house.

I gently place my hand against his chest so that he pulls away, and I nod in reply. My body is being fucking weird. This is Bobby! I need to keep reminding myself that. He's the boy from my past. Not someone fuckable. That would ruin the last shot at something good in my life.

He nods back and mimes a drinking gesture with his hand, jerking his head to the right. I shrug back. I don't know where the alcohol is. I have no idea what this house really even looks like besides from old realtor photos.

We're slowly being constricted by people on all sides, forcing him and I to move closer. My brain sends me back to a couple of months ago, bodies on bodies in a dorm room and lines of white on the dresser. I see the alcohol in the fridge and Tammy's boyfriend smiling at me drunkenly. I can see his face dip closer to mine and I close my eyes tight against the sudden onslaught of images. But it isn't him I feel now. When I open my eyes, Bobby's perfect lips are slanted into a half smile as he grabs my hand and starts to pull me behind him.

Bass shakes the floor and vibrates in my chest. Some shitty Italian Reggaeton remix is playing and it's giving me a fucking headache. I try to ignore the throngs of people and their wet skin as we slip past. Instead I focus on the softness of the hand holding mine. I don't even notice when we pass through a handful of rooms until we're practically at the back of the house, doors open into a spacious backyard with an outdoor patio setup. A tall white fence stretches around the perimeter and a DJ booth is parked to the left of the exit. It's home to a heavy set man wearing sunglasses despite the dark and currently blasting a mix of Lady Gaga/Britney Spears remixes.

Whatever. Anything is better than the questionable tracks still echoing inside.

I exhale slowly as the waves of people thin out. It's still loud but not earth shattering like inside. Party goers are dispersed among lounge chairs and patches of grass. The yard is accented by delicately trimmed shrubs forming a circle in the middle.

Bobby drops my hand. "Better?"

I want to grab his hand again, "Almost."

My gaze locks onto a long row of beer kegs propped against part of the fence. Yes! This is what I need, to just forget everything and let go. I brush dark hair out of my face and point.

"I know what can make this better."

"Race you?" Bobby asks.

I snort.

"I'm serious," Bobby says, "Scared you'll lose?"

I cross my arms, "What does the winner get?"

Bobby smirks at me and that glint of mischief brightens his brown eyes again. "Anything they want?"

My eyes widen and I feel a smile dance onto my lips, "Anything?" My tongue moistens my lips and his eyes shoot to it. Am I going crazy? Something tells me 'anything' doesn't still mean giving each other a dollar or daring someone to steal from the local mart like when we were younger.