Hey guys, this will be my Q&A chapter. I'm sorry for putting it off for too long, and not updating for a long time.
I'll state some general facts about myself before getting into the questions that were asked, since some of you wanted to get to know me better.
My name is Crystal (although I used to sign my works as Ell).
I am a 14 year old girl.
I have suffered with depression, anorexia, and social anxiety.
I live in America.
I'm a sarcastic and antisocial dork who wants to be loved and noticed.
I love One Direction, Matthew Espinosa, 5 Seconds of Summer, All Time Low, Simple Plan, Sleeping With Sirens, fashion, the internet, tumblr/grunge/bohemian, photography, music, acting, and internet friends.
Now onto the questions.
❝How do you avoid talking about something that triggers you? Because all my friends make jokes about self harm and anorexia. It just triggers me and I don't like talking about them.❞
I know exactly what you're talking about. My classmates and even teachers like to make jokes or have "silly" conversations about suicide and self harm. It sometimes triggers me as well, and makes me depressed. What I've found helpful is to try and drown them out if you're not able to walk away from the conversation. Try singing you're favorite song or a song that makes you happy in your head. Think about a funny memory or your favorite person. Doddle if you're able to. Little things like that. However, if you can, then excusing yourself from the conversation is the best thing to do. (You can also tell them to stop talking about it if you're close to them and are willing to take the chance of having to explain why.)
❝What would you do if you went through depression in phases? You slowly get more and more down, then you have this one really bad and depressed evening, and then you're fine the next day, and the cycle repeats itself. And how would you avoid this cycle?❞
This is similar to what was happening to me when my depression was getting better. I'd be happy and life would be good, then the littlest thing would bring me back down and make me depressed again. The best thing for me was to talk to my best friend, or anyone else that you're close to or knows about your depression. Rant to them, explain why you're feeling the way you are, tell them what happened through out your day, etc. Trust me, it will list a thousand pounds off of your shoulders.
To avoid this cycle, I'd say to not keep all of your feelings inside. If something is really bothering you, then tell someone that you trust. Also, try to keep a positive out look on life and certain situations, even though it may be hard.
❝How do you avoid panic attacks and triggers in a large croud?❞
I've had my share of panic attacks. They may not have been noticeable or very bad, but I know how you feel. Try telling yourself that you can overcome what your scared of doing. Tell yourself that what you're anxious about is nothing big and nothing to worry about. Take deep breaths. Close your eyes for a few seconds. Sit down. Imagine yourself crushing what you're afraid of.
To avoid triggers, I'd say to do what I stated in the first answer. Try to take yourself out of the situation or take your mind off of/distract yourself from what's triggering you.
❝Were you ever depressed before? Were you depressed and then happy for a short time and then depressed again?❞
Yes, I was depressed before. I started to get depressed about two or three years ago when my insecurities became worse. That was when I became mildly anorexic as well. I would barely eat, only enough to convince my parents everything was normal, and I'd overly exercise. Even when I it was obvious I was too skinny, nobody wanted to say anything and left me to keep doing what I was doing. When I started to get insecure over how skinny I was and how my ribs popped out, I returned to my normal eating and exercise patterns and recovered. When I started recovering, my depression disappeared and I was happy for a short time. A while later I started to get insecure and depressed again. But I snapped when I thought my internet best friend had killed herself. Those three months afterwards were the hardest of my life. I was never happy and often wanted to kill myself. I almost started to self harm, but didn't. However, three months later I found out what had happened. I slowly started to recover. It took about 6 months for me to recover. Still today I fall into a short phase of depression or get triggered. It was always be a part of me that I will have to deal with. My current struggle is social anxiety.
Sorry if I didn't answer your question, and if my responses were too long. If you have anything you want to ask me, you can always DM me or ask it on my new Ask.fm. Plus I'm always looking for new internet friends.
http://ask.fm/um_crystal
Again, I'm so sorry for not updating for so long! Hopefully I will start back up again.
I love you all and hope you have a great day.
