STUCK

14

it was visiting and today i decided to introduce mami and daya to my little valentines.

"why the fuck are we here" mami says as to why we were sitting at an empty visiting table.

"just be patient ma, jeez" i scolded, but stopped when a see little feet pattering on the ground. it was mateo running to me, most people miss their kids firsts' while in lock up but i was lucky to have seen them before prison.

"there's my sweetface." i say picking him up and kissing his chubby cheeks.

"uh" daya says not knowing how to react, i turn mateo to her and mami and say "mateo, meet your tia daya and abuelita" he reached his hands out to mami and she reached back, stealing him and cuddling his brown body.

"im a fucking abuelita" mami says with tears welling in her eyes, she blinks and some fall.

"how old is he" daya asks as she reaches out to hold his little hand, i look to yessica and she says "well i got him about 5 months ago and he was 10 months then so" she trails off trying to do the math in her head. "15 months now" i answer looking over at my mother and sister, they weren't paying attention at all because they were so busy playing with mateo and making him giggle.

The visit went well, mami talked to Mateo in Spanish and he looked so happy, of course naturally they asked who the father was and all I told them it was a one night stand.

They left it at that, not wanting to push me but I knew they saw the solemn look that was clear as day on my face.

I asked yessica if she could get us some takis and a beverage from the vending machine seeing as we have the of brand version in commissary. She complied and went off.

"So that's the sister of the one night stand?" Daya asked as she bounced mateo on her knee, making him giggle and reach of for mamis hair.

"Yeah that's yessica, she's looking after Mr sweetface until I get out. Her brother Emanuel is also helping out" I explain to my family. They nod in understanding.

"Why isn't the father helping out?" Mami pushed as she picked up the coke yessica came back with, sica and I looked at each other and then I turned to mami "he's a dead beat, and he's not around no more" I lied to their faces.

It went into a comfortable silence as we all played attention to mateo. Daya was drawing him on a peice of napkin as one of her cool characters.

When we were little daya used to put me into bed and read her comics she made, they were always about this badass princess mikila who was a spy at night. She would solve problems in the castle and hide from the royal guard.

I smile at the two, mateo picked up the drawing and threw it around as babies do.

"You'll be a great mother daya" I say, she smiles at me and I wink.

The time for visitation was over and we all said goodbye to my son and to yessica. I gave mateo a kiss goodbye before the water works started.

Since it was always mateo and I together in the house he has bad separation anxiety which me being in prison does not help.