STUCK

29

all everyone was talking about this morning was this dumb safe space thing healy was holding.

i decided to go because i was bored and it got me out of work so that was a plus.

zoning out was the only why i could listen to healys voice and not put me to sleep, i mean come on that man speaks so slow.

poussay was talking but stopped when suzanne walked in, she smiled at me and sat down in the seat next to me.

"did it ever occur to you the feeling our feelings will make it impossible to survive in here" she grunted, looking directly at healy.

"look... im trying to look out for you" when healy started speaking i zoned out again, but when he said "what happens in safe place stays in safe place" i snorted "bullshit" everyone looks to me 

"we all know this is just a snitching group" i laugh and put my hands up, i know what happened to poussay and how the girls jumped her but i also know that if she says something that it will just happen again, and maybe this time she wont be able to work.

healy gave me a look and i knew that it was time for me to leave.

===

the kitchen was buzzing with busy latinas making lunch, mami was chopping vegetables with daya and maria. most likely talking shit because what else is there to do in prison.

"hey" i said walking up behind them, maria turned and smiled at me

"how was ur little safe space thing" daya asked sweetly, i smirked.

"Vee has got suzanne watching, making sure no one snitches on her lil smoke shop" i laugh, mami snorts as glorias eye widen at the name of vee. she speed walks over and listens to me talk "nobody snitched though healy was trying to get poussay to talk about why she was hurt" they nodded now all intrigued.

"anything else?" mamis eyebrow rose, i thought for a seconds then said "weeping monas kid lost the cheese barreling competition?" i offered knowing they didnt care about the sad woman whos always on the phone crying about something.

maria giggled as mami hit the back of my head with a towel.

===

caputo and fig have brought a contractor who will fix the spanish harlem bathrooms, luckily for me, one of the workers is an old buddy of mine. since bennett isn't bringing me shit no more i had to ask him to go and put a 2 pack behind one of the chiseled out tiles in the third toilet stall.

but while that is getting fixed we still had to use the black bathrooms.

i was doing my make up with the shitty cosmetics they sell at commissary.

"yo im so sick of this shit, i hade having to share space" flaca complained as she applied her usual tear drop eyeliner.

i laughed and turned to her "then why'd you get your ass stuck in prison huh, everything is shared in here idioma" she rolled her eyes and Maritza who was on the other side of me punched my shoulder.

===

the storm had just hit the facility, ever since i was little ive always hated storms. i used to go hide in dayas bed since she was 5 years older she would always let me sleep with her.

she would brush my hair back and hum a song trying to get me to go to sleep, when the thunder would boom in the background she would hold me tight and say "thats mother natures way of saying i love you to the earth, and the lightning is just bright hugs" 

"hey day" the suddenness of my voice made her look up from the rag she was running across the counter.

she hummed in responses  "mother natures saying i love you to the earth right now" i say after a loud struck of thunder.  she smiled and nodded, "and its just given a bright hug" she said as the lightning illuminated our faces.