Because of Holly

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Russ was not a coward. He never backed down from a challenge, never hesitated to criticize someone, and most definitely never quit trying to get what he wanted.

As a result, he didn't have many friends. No one understood the little kid who glared at everyone he met, the kid who snapped at people who he found idiotic, the kid who generally trusted no one. They all steered clear of him, whispering of the boy who sat in the grass under the oak tree everyday. He's mean. He's a freak. He's scary. Russ heard all of their words swirling in his head, and he didn't let that break him. He grew up in a home where he knew how to trick other people. He was used to scam money from unsuspecting rick folks. So he ended up with a collection of knock-off Nike shoes and quite a bit of money for one job. His mother was brilliant, and he learned all of this and was quite skilled for a boy barely old enough to do multiplication. He knew he was better than those kids, and he was strong.

Milt was the first person in a long time to call him a coward. "What are you afraid of?" Sure, he didn't directly call him a coward, but Russ knew what he was implying. He knew that face Milt was making, one curious and challenging. Part of it encompassed the very surface of the question, genuine wonder, and the other ran deeper. Why wouldn't he? Why shouldn't he? What did the task of asking Holly out have that made Russ, the Russ who always got what he wanted, not want to try? Milt was challenging him, daring him to answer, daring him to overcome it. And Russ wasn't going to have any of that.

Bad idea. Saying that dating someone he worked with was a bad idea had to be the weakest excuse ever. Even annoyingly trusting Milt could have seen right through that lie. Russ didn't believe it was a lie, though, because that's what he always believed; never date someone you work with because you can't let them occupy your mind, you can't be too attached to someone who might not be alive the next day. And how can someone see past a lie that the liar believed to be true? He so forcefully instilled it into his mind that any other reason seemed ridiculous. He brainwashed his mind firmly to that belief, that excuse, even though there was a thought nagging in the back of his mind asking if she didn't already occupy his mind.

"You're betting that a guy that would ask a woman to go on a cruise after just a few dates is a nut," was Milt's next suggestion, and damn, why won't that guy shut up about it? Russ rubbed his eyes in exhaustion. They just got locked in a freezer by this supposedly dead modern day Robin Hood, and that's all he could think about?! Russ was still freezing! Milt droned on nevertheless, crafting some delirious idea that Russ wanted Holly to find out the idiot was crazy for herself. He was done with this. "You see, the only problem with that plan is..." 

"I don't have a plan. I don't have a plan," Russ blurted out tiredly in hopes that Milt would shut up, but he also was telling the truth, disguised in either an insult, joke, or in this case an interruption like he always does when he needs to say something without people actually listening. It was the truth. Russ didn't have a plan, never had a plan when it came to Holly, and it terrified him. It usually didn't bother him as Russ never really had a plan for anything he did, the hot-head, but this was different. This was Holly and love does strange things. Love was like a mirror; he looked the same, talked the same, but everything was reversed. His right hand was his left, his movements swayed the other way, and he was seriously making a plan. He needed a plan because Holly wasn't going to be there forever waiting for him, and in one day she was going to be shipped off on a five-day cruise. The bastard wasn't just taking her away for five days, he was taking her away forever as far as Russ was concerned. He was shipping her off into the sunset, far far away.

"Now I understand," and Was. He. Really. Still. Going. On about that? Russ sighed irritably for whatever stupid idea Milt had next. In fact, Milt caring this much about his love life was making him extremely uncomfortable considering he still didn't trust the guy. Maybe he should have just flat out said he was afraid. That might have been easier. So much easier.