A Litle lie (rewritten)

~~Chapter 1; The start of something new~~

Virgil/anxiety's p.o.v

Another dreary fucking day in the mindscape. Of course, the others decided not to invite me to one more movie night. By the others, I mean Roman, Thomas, and Logan. Soft sighs escape my lips as I hear Roman and Patton scream-sing along to a whole new world. Truthfully, it's a little sad how often they exclude me. You would assume Patton would talk them into letting me join in, But I don't think he has ever liked me. I truly believe he only plays nice because he's Thomas's morality.

I regret leaving the dark sides. Janus and Remus were some of my favorite people. If only I had only fought to stay with them harder. With Remus, it was always so fun to play pranks with him. Even though Janus could only speak in lies, he was always the kindest. I had let them convince me to switch side's so we could all keep Thomas safe.

We had agreed that we would pretend to hate each other. It was so it would be easier to establish a connection with the others. In the end, It never made it smother. And I'm starting to believe that Janus and Remus legitimately hate me. Remus no longer sneaks in to visit as often as he used to. When he does, there's always something bitter to his tones. The same happens with Janus.

'The other side will never accept me for who I am.

No, I can't think like this they will accept me one day.

Who am I kidding all of them think I'm the most harmful side to exist.

No, No, I can't think like this. They do care about me. It's going to take some time to get used to having anxiety more present in the mindscape.

But they don't invite me to hang out with them but, they will invite Thomas. That doesn't seem very fair. HE'S NOT EVEN A FUCKING SIDE!

.... Maybe they wanted to spend time with Thomas...

I can't even convince myself of that. They don't like me and I'm tired of pretending not to notice they don't.'

Siting up with a sigh, and pushing off the weighted Corpse Bride blanket, before dragging myself upwards and out of my bed. I slowly walk toward my bathroom. Taking in my surroundings for possibly the last time.

The spider webs dripped down from all corners of the room. Stupid Halloween decorations are strewn about without a care.

The bathroom looked about the same an organized mess only I could navigate.

Taking off my Black jacket, I traced the lines on my arms. Some of them scabbed over and others only scarred. Some of the scars were faint and close to finally fully healing. Others were vibrant against my skin. Each and everyone is different.

Shaking myself out of my thoughts I crouched down and opened up the cabinet under the sink. I rummaged around. Past bandages, first aid kits, Makeup, and a box full of pictures. I grabbed the razer blad hiding among the things. Sitting fully on the ground I took a deep shaky breath in. I pressed the razor against my arm and quickly dragged it across. Felling myself calm I dragged again. I kept dragging the blade across my arm until I was fully calm.

Soon enough the blood was all over my arms dripping from each new cut. I couldn't quite tell how many I cut into my arm. I watched as the blood rolled off my arm and dripped onto the black tile of my bathroom floor. Slowly standing up not to pass out I threw my razor back under the skin. And then I cleaned my cuts and bandaged them, before starting on cleaning the bathroom.

Finally finished with the cleaning I looked up into the mirror and saw my tear-stricken face. "God I look so fucking pathetic. Gross, I sound like I'm sick." Opening up the Mirror cabinet for my makeup wipes. I noticed The anxiety pills that Thomas had stopped taking. I had stolen them after he'd said he would stop taking them. It's funny cause there's about enough in there to kill me.

I felt Thomas trying to summon me.

'FUCK I don't have enough energy to refuse for long. I can try to stall it to fix my make-up and pull my jacket on.' I quickly wiped off the tear stains on my face, before messily throwing on some more black under eyeshadow. Right as I no longer could resist Thomas summoning me I managed to pull on my Jacket and Zipp it up somewhat.

'oh thank god'

Rolling my eyes I asked. "What couldn't get enough of me? What do you need Thomas I've got more important things to be doing" I narrowed my eyes at Him and crossed my arms. Roman As always looked disgusted by my existence. I quickly looked at Logan, who glared at me in an aggressive mother-type way. Patton looked at me in his disappointed dad stare.

Thomas quickly spoke up. "Do you all know why my arms hurt? It started just a few minutes ago" I froze 'Shit, SHIT! I didn't think this would affect Thomas.' I took a deep breath and fiddled with my sleeve before speaking up. "No" I answered a little too quickly to be believed. Roman scoffed "AS IF YOU HORRIBLE EXCUSE OF A SIDE. YOU DID SOMETHING TO HURT THOMAS. ME PATTON AND LOGAN JUST STARTED MAKING COOKIES AFTER OUR MOVIE NIGHT! SO IT COULD ONLY HAVE BEEN YOU."

I blinked trying to keep the tears in. "I... I didn't do anything" I whispered pathetically. "You're no better than the dark sides. I hope you kill yourself as that's all your good for." Roman spat out.

Patton stood in shock eyes widening. Thomas paused words dying on his tongue. Logan let out a gasp. Roman brushed himself off looking smug. "I'm sorry-.." I choked out, letting a single tear drop fall. I turned and quickly sunk out and back into my room. It hurts knowing how little they care about me. I Speed walked into my bathroom threw open the cabinet door and grabbed the pills.

'I guess this is it, I'll join you soon don't worry.'

I opped the bottle and poured the pills into my mouth and dry swallowed them. I then filled the pill bottle up with sink water and drank that to help the pills go down. I started to lose consciousness. I hit the floor with a loud floor just in time for Patton and Janus to have sunk into my room. As I slip into darkness all I can hear is a high-pitched scream.

Decite/Janus p.o.v

(Lies)

Suddenly I felt roman lying.

I knew he lied so I had to show up. So I sunk into the room. There sat Patton Roman logan and Thomas. I sighed. "I totally didn't hear someone say something true". Roman seemed to growl. Patton's eyes widen before looking at Roman. "ROMAN. How could you! You told us that Virgil d-didn't want to come down, and it has been an hour or two....and we, no you just yelled at him!" I scoffed. "Wow," I slowly clapped.

"Congratulations on being the best people ever."I sank out sinking into Virgil's room followed by Patton. I noticed we sunk directly into his room. It's weird he locked it tighter after the accepting anxiety vids. As we arrived in We noticed the bathroom door was open. And on the floor was Virgil. An empty pill bottle is right next to him. I quickly rushed over as Patton screamed. I pulled him to me. I quickly checked for a pulse. Noticing a faint one I yelled at Patton "PAT HE'S BREATHING STILL GET FUCKING LOGAN!" I picked Virgil up and we sunk into Logan's room as Patton sunk out getting logan. They arrived with a pissed roman and worried Thomas. Once Roman saw Virgil his eyes widened. Thomas flipped his shit and panicked showing Virgil was still alive just barely. I hissed as Roman tried to help. "YOU! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A VIL- NO FUCK LYING YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A FUCKING HERO. A PRINCE WHO SAVES EVERYONE INSTEAD YOU IGNORED YOUR BROTHER AND HURT VIRGIL SO BAD HE DECIDED TO KILL HIMSELF." I yelled angrily.