The Sky Between Us

Chapter Seven - Sickness of My Heart

The weekend had rolled around far more quickly than I had anticipated. And once more nerves were coiling through me as both me and Yusuf sat by the door waiting for Amir to pick us up. 

I wasn't wearing a Kamees despite my mother's advice, I was in a loose dress that was a light blue that flowed to just below my knees, and beneath that, I wore simple leggings with my slip-on shoes, and minimal makeup all down to me being too exhausted by the week to put much effort into my appearance. 

Yusuf wore a casual outfit too a simple button-down shirt and black jeans, he had his hands shoved into his pockets and a pensive look on his face. 

He stared down at his watch and I saw his foot tapping on the wooden floor, he seemed more nervous than I was which I hadn't even thought would be possible. 

"Hey," I softly tried to gain his attention, his eyes snapped towards me and he gave me a haphazard smile that was just a little too forced, "What's up?"

"Nothing," his response was immediate, the rushed word flying out of his mouth and clattering to the floor in a heap.

I rose a brow, "I've known you all your life," I gave him a pointed look, a sister's look of disapproval more than anything, "I know when you're lying to me,"

He huffed slightly a deep exhalation of breath, "It's just-" he stumbled over his words trying to reach for the correct ones but always falling short.

"Come on Yusuf you can tell me," I tried to keep my voice as gentle as possible, this was my baby brother after all, and I knew something was bothering him, his brow seemed to be permanently creased since he came back, and there was agitation in his step, anxiety that wasn't common for him, not anymore anyways, he had overcome that demon a long time again. 

"Are you sure about this?" he blurted out and I felt the words hit me like a truck, this was the second time someone had asked me that question and both times they had come from people I loved and trusted with my life.

"What do you mean?" nervous laughter flowed between us but it held everything but humour, it was a paradoxical sound, simultaneously melancholy and bashful.

"I mean, you barely know him, I thought," he sighed heavily seating himself at the bottom of the stairs and putting his head in his hands for a moment, I sat beside him, trying to lift him up, beg him to just look at me, and when he did I wished he hadn't there was such a pure sadness in his eyes, shimmering in brown eyes that were a reflection of my own, pools of darkness that only shone in the sunlight, a mixture of trepidation and solace, "I just don't want anything bad to happen to you,"

And those few words nearly broke me.

I reached over to him and pulled him close to me, hugging him tightly and cradling his head in my arms, "Hey it's ok, nothing bad is going to happen,"

He lifted his eyes to mine, "You don't know that Api, you don't know him at all," and he was right, I knew nothing about Amir nothing at all. 

I wanted to respond, the words of comfort were poised on my lips but then there was a knock at the door, exactly at 7 pm, Amir was here.

I stood pulling Yusuf to his feet, slightly squeezing his arm to convey the reassurance that my words couldn't, I pulled open the door not prepared to see Amir. 

He smelled of fresh mint and dark oak, and his hair this time wasn't perfectly combed, rather it was slightly messy falling just over his eyes and yet still being immaculate. He wasn't in a suit this time, just a pressed shirt with the top button undone and the sleeves rolled just a little to expose his strong arms, a watch on his right hand, though it wasn't expensive as I had thought it would be, no it was a simple timepiece with a brown leather strap and faint gold rimming that had dulled over the seconds that the clock had ticked. 

He was wearing smart trousers but there was still something slightly casual about them too, he was a little rough around the edges and part of me through it was more authentic than I had ever seen him.

I must have been staring because he cleared his throat to garner my attention once more, and I knew I was blushing furiously with heat reaching my cheeks I exited the house with Yusuf in stride, "Assalamualikum Amir," I spoke politely still trying to control my tinged cheeks.

"Waalaikumusalam Khadijah," and then he nodded in Yusuf's direction who was still wearing a terse look, he responded with a salam but his voice was still clipped with an edge of suspicion to it. 

He led us both to his car and insisted that I sit in the front, and I don't know but it felt quite intimate to be in the passenger seat but there was no way I could refuse, if Yusuf was next to him it might very well turn into a blood bath. 

"So where are we going?" I tried to keep my voice light and carefree but he could sense the tension in it and I knew it.

It didn't help at all that Yusuf was leaning forward listening to every word having opted to sit in the middle seat rather than the far more comfortable and accommodating side seats. 

His glare was unwavering but Amir was either oblivious or deliberately ignoring him. 

And my vote was on the latter. 

"Just a small restaurant, that my friend owns," he spoke with all the calmness of the sea before a storm, there was always something more to the words he spoke, something I had every intention of deciphering. 

"That's nice, that your friend owns a restaurant, I guess a businessman like yourself must have a lot of connections," I tried to form conversation but I just ended up sounding incredibly awkward.

"I wonder what he had to do to get where he is," Yusuf mumbled and I cast a sharp look in his direction, luckily it seemed that Amir was far too concentrated on the road. 

"Yes, it is nice to have friends all over, with different occupations and businesses," this was probably the most we had spoken ever bar that one time I admitted that I liked the way he looked.

Fresh embarrassment bloomed on my cheeks as I recalled the terrible exchange when we had first met and I must have turned red enough for Amir to notice, "Are you ok? You look unwell,"

Well, that was pretty blunt, "Thank you so much, that does wonders for my self-esteem," I grumbled, even though I knew this was just his way of expressing concern. 

I could visibly see his fingers tighten against the steering wheel, his knuckles slightly paling as his dark skin stretched over the bone, and once again I was staring. 

"Pardon me, that's the last time I show any concern," and he sounded upset which was slightly unnerving because I had long since convinced myself that he wasn't capable of emotion.

"Concern, you basically said I look awful," there was a snark in my statement and it was there deliberately, he was irking me and we hadn't even left the car yet, this was going to be one long night. 

"No I didn't," he said firmly, spinning the steering wheel in his hands as he turned abruptly, I was nearly knocked into the door by the sudden movement and Yusuf was definitely flung a little to the side, thankfully the seats were padded so no damage was done.

"Hey!" I wanted to swat him with my arm but I knew we couldn't touch one another, "Ya Allah, you could've killed us!"

"You're so dramatic," it looked like he wanted to roll his eyes but decided it wouldn't be befitting of a man of his calibre to be caught doing such a juvenile thing.

"And you Amir," I glared at him, the tension palpable between us so much so that either one of us could reach out and bend it to our will.

"You are the sickness of my heart."