The Sky Between Us

Chapter Five - All in

Today was just another day, I tried to convince myself of the fact, staring at myself in the mirror, all dressed up, with deep navy kamees effortlessly flowing off my body my hair was wrapped in an elegant golden scarf that somehow pooled around my shoulders like liquid metal, it shone in the sun's rays sneaking past the blinds in filtered light, that cut across my face, half shadowed half basked in the morning light. 

I tried to steady my breathing, this was all too much, time had flown, and Yusuf was back and rightly confused as to what was going on. He came back last night and I couldn't keep my mouth shut, I just blurted it out, I was genuinely like:

"Hey, bro, good to see you, I'm getting married," to say he was shocked would be the understatement of the century. 

And now, I was all dressed up with a golden smoky eye and nude lipstick pressed against my lips, I felt heavy like I was sinking into the ground, with my dress pulling me down, heavy with detailing.

It was so off, I was never this nervous, never.

Even when I was walking to get my Bachelor of Arts degree was I this nervous, but seeing Amir stirred something in me, and after what Aqsa had told me, my thoughts were all over the place. 

I had tried calling Emory after speaking to Aqsa but it went straight to voice mail, two texts later and there was still no response, which wasn't like Emory at all. 

But I had bigger things to worry about, I grabbed my bag it was black with gold detailing to match the dress and with one hastened look at my frame in the mirror I was out of the door. 

"Well don't you just look terrible Api?" Yusuf's voice filled the room once I entered, he had a smirk on his face that broke into a grin as he pulled me in for a hug, "I can't believe anyone's agreed to marry you,"

I sputtered, swatting him with my hand, "I'll be saying the same when you finally get yourself a wife, you're just mad because you're going to miss me," like a child I stuck my tongue out to which Yusuf followed suit until Baba caught us being stupid, he gave a small frown before shaking his head and laughing slightly. 

"You can say it you know Baba. We're a bunch of idiots," Yusuf piped up giving Baba a hug I could tell that he had missed him a lot, after being at Uni for so long, not coming home for holidays because he was swamped with work, he did work every waking moment, his glasses perched on his nose as he stared at a computer writing out different bits of code, making things come to life with words in a different way to me, as I was a writer who wove words together to create stories beyond your wildest dreams, Yusuf connected words together in a sequence that could make a computer speak to you, learn from you, beat you in a game of chess.

I didn't understand most of it and would stick to writing characters who played the world like it was a game of chess. 

For some reason, when I thought of that particular trait of the characters I had written for creative writing assignments and my projects, I was reminded of Amir, and his cool expression, his emotionless gait and his studying dark eyes that bore into you and laid you bare, picking you apart with a single glance, he was a man that could play the board, who knew too much and I was sure knew what he had to do to get what he wanted. The pinnacle of reserved, and yet there was something deeper, something that I knew I needed to figure out. 

He was the man I was meant to marry after all. 

Ama walked in next with all the grace from years of practice of going to dawats, she was wearing her favourite saree, deep marron with rose gold flowers folded between the fabric, sparkling with jewels that caught the light at just the right time and cast a myriad of rainbows onto the wall. She wore a matching scarf to mine, the only thing that tied our outfits together, like mother-like daughter. 

She reached out to me and pinched my cheeks like I was still 3 years old, I groaned but leaned into her hug, taking a lungful of her sweet cherry blossom smell. 

"Are you ready beta?" she asked softly with only the comfort a mother's voice could evoke. 

I took a deep breath and plastered on a big smile despite the nerves curling through my stomach, I took a confident step towards the door, "Ready as I'll ever be," and I smiled, smiled because there really wasn't anything else I could do. 

The drive wasn't long, the Hafeez's seemed to not live too far away but when I stepped out of the car as I was shocked by how beautiful their house was. It wasn't a mansion of any sort but it was a beautiful comfortable home, with classic redbrick walls, and a heavy set oak door with gold detailing, there was even a small walk-out balcony that held an assortment of plants and flowers that bloomed with every different colour, orchids, geraniums and roses both white and red. Orchids were my favourite flowers so my eyes were drawn to them the most. 

I was wearing heels so I had to be careful of my step on their cobbled path towards the house with the finely trimmed hedges pruned to perfection. 

I had never felt so out of my depth, my breath quickened and I had to try and consciously stop my hands from trembling or worse sweating. 

I smiled so much it hurt and I was ready to be the picture-perfect bride-to-be when the door swung open. 

And there were Amir's parents all smiles and hugs, Amir's mother pulled me in close, complimenting my outfit and saying a proud "Mashallah," she was dressed to perfection too with a sage green saree with deep red detailing of rhododendrons curling up her side studded with jewels that winked in the light. 

Amir's father pressed a hand to his chest in a universal greeting, also telling me Mashallah and complimenting me, he was in a pressed suit, firm lines and contours of his body, a peppering of white in his hair and beard but a kind smile and the most striking eyes, greenish hazel, just like Amir's.

But Amir wasn't here, his mother must have seen me searching for him and when I realised she knew who I was looking for I flushed red, she smiled brightly at me, "Amir's in the living room, his heart's probably going to stop when he sees you," she whispered just to me and if I could have possibly gone any redder I did, flushed and with sparkles all over my face, with makeup accentuating the structure of my features, and heels to make me taller, a kameez that made me look elegant, I was all in. All in with all of this.

With trepidation, I walked through the hall, which had an archway with the shahadah painted in beautiful Arabic, with Alhamdulillah framed in an intricate painting. I quietly made dua to myself hoping that Allah would help me through this all as he had done for my whole life. 

I walked into the living room, my eyes downcast as I was, for the first time since I could remember genuinely terrified, I had been scared before, so many times, but this terror shaking through me, making me feel like I wanted the world to swallow me whole. 

I finally lifted my eyes.

And the whole world stopped.

I heard a sharp intake of breath as I met his eyes, green and gold swirling together in an eternal battle, something so raw in those eyes searching my very soul, boring into me, and unravelling me, taking each piece of me and taking me apart bit by bit, all with just a look. 

My heart very nearly stopped, his hair was neatly combed, the shadow of stubble sharpening his jaw that was strong and slightly clenched, his eyebrows knitted together as though he couldn't even believe what he was seeing, and I knew just by the look on his face that I had surprised him. 

"Assalamualaikum Khadijah," his voice was smooth and saccharine dipped in honey and spun into the sweetest of words, deeper than the darkened look in his eyes. 

And I forgot how to breathe.