POSSESIVENESS_ZHANYI

CHAPTER 22

I was highly disappointed but at the end I agreed as I was blinded by Zhan Ge's love. I knew I would be hurting Xuan in this matter yet I had no choice. I had no will in me to fight back against it coz I gave my words to Zhan Ge. 

Few days went well. We kept meeting on daily basis. There was no new drama. Sometimes we would explore new places. Other times we'll hang out at our place. That became our home. It's cosy, peaceful and warming. I forgot what he had let me maintain as Xuan was also busy a little. He was busy with his sports practice as soon he was about to join a tournament. 

Zhan Ge was acting normal. But suddenly today his mood was way more than down. Even when I'm sitting right next to him, his mind is just distancing away and I couldn't make out. I felt so sad at that moment.

"Zhan Ge are you bothered with something?" I asked in a low tone as I didn't wanted to startle him. I could sense he almost forgot my presence beside him. "Oh! Yibo. No. I mean a little. I mean I was just bothered by what I have faced in the past." Still he got startled and he was hesitating while mumbling. All I could do was arch my brows at him.

But he looked away and sighed. "Zhan Ge you're not alone. You know it right? Share to me." While saying this suddenly I remembered he saved something about him for later. Is it about that?

Turning his head, those eyes looked at me in a deep heart broken manner and I gulped at it. "Zhan Ge!" I patted his back and shoulder and finally pulled him into an embrace. I could feel his body squeeze into my hug and he rested his head on my shoulder like a kid. I patted his back and kept saying comforting words. 

Pulling away from the hug he turned away and started blinking his crimson eyes and I knew he teared up. I could see him getting uncomfortable seeing his uncontrolled emotion as he kept his body in quick motion to distract himself.

"It's better to cry out Gege. Those filled in tears will affect you a lot. I'm not a stranger. You can cry to me. And I have the right to see you cry. Zhan Ge open up." I said slightly in a higher tone. He uttered without turning his head, "Yibo! It's not that easy for me to open up. I have closed myself since last few years and now I can't. I just can't open up out of sudden." His voice sounded raw. 

He was struggling hard to control his emotion and that kept me grit my teeth in pain and sorrow. "Zhan Ge at least can you tell me what is it about? You did say you'll tell me." I enquired holding onto his arm. "Where do I begin? There's a whole lot that I just get lost in it myself." Sayin that he couldn't stop his tears anymore and I sighed in relief. That would make him lighter.

No he wasn't weeping or wailing. I could see he was struggling hard to keep his tough posture. Yet his eyes kept dripping tears. 

"Zhan Ge! We have time. You can start from wherever you want. However it's easy for you." saying that I pulled him into another warm hug. He melted into it. 

His posture was much relaxed and he was shivering in tears. Yet he didn't wail. He quietly let go of his betraying tears. But that was enough for me. At least he'll feel little lighter. "Yibo! My Bo! Will you too leave me someday?" He asked pale faced, rough tone and gazing right into my eyes with his crimson tear filled eyes. 

"No. I won't do that Zhan Ge. You won't lose me. I'm not gonna give up on you. I'll try my best to keep you happy Gege. Please don't be upset." Assuring him I faintly smiled at him. So did he. Those pretty pair of orbs were still piercing through me as if I'll disappear into the thing air. 

"So this began when I was in my teenage. That was when I slowly started to realize that I have interest in boys too." He would pause in the middle and turn to gaze at me to know I was still there with him. To assure him my presence, I held his hand in mine. "Go on Gege. I'm here."

"So I was saying.. I couldn't recognize my ownself. I was confused. I had no one to share. I feared Lu Jie would loathe me. I kept everything to myself. I was just 16 by then. I started to smoke, got involve into gambling, drinking became regular. I started with all types of tobacco too. 

I was out of control. I disgusted my ownself. I couldn't face myself in the mirror. My dad got to know about my Gambling, smoking and all the other things I did. Each day he would beat me up like trash. He threw me onto the floor, stamped onto my chest several times, kicked me out of the stairs and I rolled down the stairs and hurt at the same place where I got stamped. He poured chilled bucket of water on my head in the month of December. Once he pushed me so hard that a chair broke as I fell on it. He used to beat me up with his belt, boots, stick.. Ah didn't told you he's in Police. 

He, mom kept cursing me to be dead every day. They kept saying that it's better to have no kids rather than having a son like me. Lu Jie she would quietly cry everyday seeing me in pain. I cried for few months, begged him not to beat me up, but my words fell on deaf ears. Rather he would beat me up more if tell him to stop. Lu Jie would aid me each day once the drama was over. I would cry out in her arms. She too would weep along me. But it kept going on. And I had had enough by then. I no longer cried. I no longer aid my scars and let them be. 

I started to bottle up my tears. I knew it won't stop at any moment any soon. I even had suicidal thoughts you know. I would go up to the terrace and look down thinking if to die or not.

You know the day he stamped on my chest I vomited blood. I vomited whole lot of blood. But still didn't care. I started to smoke and drink more. I thought that was a way to kill myself." 

I was already weeping after hearing all the harassment he underwent . He turned his gaze at me after a long while and was taken aback to see me cry. "Hey Bo! Bo di! What happen love? Okay okay calm down enough for today." Even when he was sad, still he kept himself aside and decided to comfort me. I could see how hard he was trying not to weep again. To which I ended up wailing louder. "Zhan Ge! I'm sorry. I.. I am sorry I can't stop crying."

I was in much pain just after hearing whatever he went through. I can't even imagine at what higher level of pain and living hell he faced. 

No more words were shared between us. All I did was weep and wail into his arms as soon I was in his warm embrace. He kept soothing me. But I couldn't let go of it. My tears didn't want to stop any moment. I was having a bad mental break down. 

I couldn't breathe. I felt suffocated. "Yibo. Bo Di calm down baby. I'm fine now. Everything is over now. He no longer touches me. I no longer stay under the same roof as him. Hey calm down." When he said that I knew the story wasn't over yet. I knew more of my tears would be wetting my face. 

A/N: Updates will be slower as I always get drained out due to my busy schedule. I'm really sorry peps! Yet I'm really happy that you all waited patiently. Thanks again.