The Book Of Secrets Long Begotten

III

Jake took a step outside to have a smoke. He was joined by Matt.

"Hey, Matt, have you ever found yourself remembering a certain time in your childhood life? Not because something reminds you of it but just because you're older and it hits you out of nowhere?" Jake asked. Matt nodded.

"Oh yeah, memories flood back to me a number of times." Matt said. "Are these happy memories or not so happy memories?" Matt looked at Jake as he was lost in thought. Concentration. Focus.

"A mixture of both." Jake said. Matt slowly nodded.

"I'd like to think that God is giving us memories to look back on because we are slowly forgetting who we are. Who we really are. Where we've come from. Memories remind us of all this. Some seem bleaker than others but I feel like remembering certain moments of your life is just God wanting you to remember how far you've gone. A pantheon of sorts, if that makes sense." Matt explained to Jake. Jake nodded.

It made perfect sense. Unlike that word 'consternation'. That word still sounded incredibly far fetched. But he had grown accustomed to its sound.

"Consternation." Jake said to himself.

"Do what?" Matt asked. He did not hear what Jake had said.

"Consternation. Fear and dread of the unknown. The things you can't explain or even begin to comprehend." Jake said. Matt nodded.

"Yeah, I suppose so." Matt said.

Jake flung his almost burnt out cigarette into the ash container and Matt watched as its final embers burned out and faded away.

Such were the flames of his own innocence being carried away over the bridge of Bifrost. Drifting away into the winds of tragedy and self redemption

Matt rid the thoughts from hus mind and went inside to get back to work. Jake stood out there. He stared out into the sky. He watched as the clouds passed by. Funny little things they were. All contorting into one singular shape. Jake grinned and he walked back inside to get back to work.

~

Jake had gotten off the bus and watched it drive away. Ryan had walked off and away. He seemed to be in a rush to get on home. Jake took his time. His own normal speed. Jake took as much time he needed because just like Depeche Mode said: I have all the time in the world.

He got on home and went straight to his room. His mother tried to ask him how his day had went but he told her the word 'later' because he had 'lots of homework to do.' His mother told him fine and watched him walk to his room and close the door.

He threw his backpack onto his bed and unzipped it.  He pulled out the piece of paper that had the steps on it to shadowdream. He read over it until he understood it. That took a couple of tries. When he finally understood it, he did exactly as it had been written:

Lay on your back or sit criss cross.

Rid your mind of such thoughts of worry, doubt, and stress.

Repeat the phrase: "Allow me to see what is not in front of me." until you feel yourself starting to ascend.

Once you feel that, open your eyes and you are now shadowdreaming.

Jake looked at the paper with wonder. It seemed all fairy tale like. It sounded fake. He pushed it aside and decided to check it out. So he got criss cross applesauce, he rid his brain of thoughts as much as he could and repeated the phrase quietly and then started to feel as if he was floating.