Beauty in the eyes of a Dreamer

Shards

~~~

The Broken Mirror

~~~

And stop asking me,

How I feel, and what's going on

Inside my head because I

Will just say I don't know

Not

Because there is nothing going on or because I'm afraid

But because there is too much going on.

And right now...

It's difficult

To lay it all out

And

Try

To understand

Exactly what everything means...

Because there is nothing solid.

Because this isn't a crime scene, there are no weapons or bloodstains or fingerprints...

It's all just hazy memories

Feelings

Revelations

Dreams...

And I could try to write it down...

Make sense of it all

But then I fear it would make

Even less sense

And I'd forget things

And lose...something...

And the connections would not be real

Because they were just casual links

And not...like the moments in my head

When suddenly it all fits beautifully

And then shatters before I get a good look...

And I have to start again...with one more piece than before

And the puzzle gets bigger,

Because more pieces have been upturned

And I put them together,

Cutting my fingers on the shards,

As I spell out the truth...

With bits of a mirror

And they stare back at me

With my wide eyes

And tell me the secrets

That I didn't know I had

And make me wonder

Is it even...

Possible...

Am I lying to myself?

Am I denying...

And how big is this truth?

And is it worth a fuss...

And all the cut fingers

That smeared the reflection with blood

So I can't see it clearly

I guess

I'll never know

Really

I'll never know the whole truth

I just have to

Stick back the bits

That I can see...

Stare truth in the face

Bandage my wounds,

Pull myself back together...

And go back to living.

Because what else is there to do?