Between the Stacks

Chapter 34

I've thought about my future death sometimes. After Alex's accident it became a preoccupation. Death could be around the corner in the form of a speeding car, a half-chewed piece of steak, an unsecured fridge in the back of a truck. For a week after his death I wouldn't leave my room, afraid a meteor would fall from the sky and blast me into smithereens.

I grew out of the habit over the years, but as Wesley's aunt and I walked down the sidewalk, I realized there was one death I had never predicted.

"You and Wesley slept together," Tomoko said. "How was that?"

A heart attack. That's how I would go. My heart stopped in my chest and I had a vision of passing out on the cruel Toronto streets and my body being thrown into the lake-

"I'm sorry?" I managed to choke out.

"I'm not Wesley's mother. I know that. He's still my boy, though, and I know what he looks like when he's happy. Judging by the way you two keep stealing glances at each other, there's really one thing that could have happened."

"Um," I said, my last two brain cells having caught on fire.

"I hope he was respectful. Hiroshi and I did our best, but it's hard to teach your kid about things like that."

I could not talk about this with her. Maybe if I stepped out into the street, I'd get hit by a car and taken to the hospital and I could escape this conversation.

"All I'm saying is this." Tomoko stopped suddenly in her tracks and motioned for me to stop walking. Pedestrians streamed around us, as if we were rocks in a river. "We didn't get everything with Wesley right. No parent or guardian does. But I hope things went okay, and more importantly, if you hurt him, I will be forced to kill you with a dull knife."

I couldn't help but laugh. I liked Tomoko. She reminded me of my own parents and their snarky comments to Wesley.

"Wesley is very nice," I hedged. "Now that I know him."

"Yes, he can be a bit prickly at first. He takes a while to warm up to people."

"I also didn't expect to talk about sex this early in the morning," I said, and Tomoko chuckled.

"Hiroshi and I have always been very open people. Perhaps too open - maybe Wesley shut down because of it. I once worked as a nurse. When you get down to it, all bodies are the same, and things lose their taboos after a while. Trust me, I could tell you all sorts of stories about what people stick in themselves. In, you know, interesting places."

"Carrots?" I guessed.

"Yes. Lots of vegetables, surprisingly. I don't see the appeal. I'd rather have zucchini in my stir-fry than up in a place where the sun doesn't shine."

I knew I would never think of zucchinis the same way again. "Me, too."

Tomoko had plenty of time left on her parking meter by the time we got to her car; it had all been a ruse, as expected. "How else could I steal you for a girl chat?" she asked.

We walked back to the restaurant. By the time we sat down the cheese plate was on the table and had thankfully remained untouched by Wesley and Hiroshi. I could almost imagine Wesley's fingers twitching as he held himself back.

The rest of the conversation passed quickly as we devoured the plate - thankfully no zucchinis were mentioned. I was surprised to find that I was sad to say goodbye once the bill was paid. There'd been no reason for me to stress over meeting them: I hadn't spilled my drink, I hadn't dropped any utensils, and I hadn't revealed any embarrassing childhood secrets. (Although poor Wesley wasn't spared: Tomoko revealed that in high school he sat on a chocolate almond, and for the rest of the day he'd had a rather embarrassing stain on his pants.)