The Worst Month Ever

Military Malarky

I awoke to the sounds of clanging pipes hissing and the unmistakable buzzing of office lights. But when I smelled the surrounding air instead of smelling the stale, ball and chain binding, smell of an office I smelled the salt of the sea.  I felt hard concrete and a slight rocking like a ship on the high seas. I was wearing a black sack over my head, but I could make out through the fabric, blue gray walls, long lights fixed to the ceiling, and the thinly spread apart bars of a cage that kept me trapped and enclosed.

I heard Loud boots approaching. Each step asserting dominance over the poor floor, each step following the next with a rhythmic symmetry of tyranny, the boots of each foot enlisting a serenade of destruction the kind of destruction to rule all others, and their echo in the halls was like thunderous battle roars of old or the echoing sound of artillery in the endless battle between man and man. The foot steps grew louder and louder before stopping in front of me. A deep assertive voice spoke, the voice like a man of former status only to fall into a wormhole of his bottle and gun with an unending hatred of himself and the advancing tech and folk around him. "Morning sunshine, welcome aboard the USS Virginia. I am General Ford H. Weston, But you may... will call me General Weston." The man said "So i'm on a ship, I'm guessing on my way to a port on the west cost then to area 51. Isn't this a bit cleache. I mean I'm a giant animal that I know your gonna wanna make super soldiers with and your probably gonna say 'You are now property of the United States Army' or 'You are an interest to the United States Arm-." "SILENCE" General H. Weston shouted. "My god do you have a mouth on you." "Your right, I do! quite the astute observation you've made my frie-" "DO I LOOK LIKE I AM YOUR FRIEND OR FOR THAT MATTER WANT YOUR PERSISTING TALK BACK ATTITUDE OF THE DEGENERATE PIECE OF LIVING SHIT THAT YOU ARE!" "no?" "THAT WAS NOT A QUESTION YOU DUMBASS" ":|" "Ah'em as I was saying, you are currently being transferred to a secure military outpost in Oregon, Air Station Astoria." "Wait. Isn't that a coast guard ba-" "NO ONE SUSPECTS THE COAST GUARD!" "oooooooooooooooookay then." "Where we will attempt to figure out where you are from and how your... uhhh what was it again?" The General stuck his hand out and a women wearing a lab coat over a red dress with a sunflower design handed him a clipboard with papers on it. he continued "Ge... netic... commmpoosiition and make up. Make up? Oh, as in- ok." "Yeah, and I'm the dumbass." I said sarcastically "DON'T YOU DARE CALL SOMEONE OF SUPERIOR STATUS AND RANK A DUMBASS YOU... You... uhh... MORON!!" "*snicker* *slight smile*" went a soldier behind him "IF YOU LAUGH ONE MORE TIME SOLDIER I WILL HAVE YOU COURT MARTIALED" The General shouted to the soldier standing against the wall. "Now as I was saying, or was going to say, I will ask you a series of questions which will test if your from here or not. And by here I mean Earth." The General said "Well If I'm speaking english wouldn't that be a clear indication of wher-" "SILENCE" The General shouted at me "Ah'em. Question one, what is the name of the seven continents of the Earth?" The General asked. "What if I acted like I wasn't from Earth? Hmmm." I thought to myself before answering "uhhhhh. China... America... Russia... Putin... Hillary... Trump... and... I think... Mexico wall..." I answered "Ok then, onto question two, name five mili-" "Fort Bragg, Fort Hood, Fort Campbell, Marine Corps Air/Ground Combat Center 29 Palms, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Fort Benning, Fort Bliss, and the White Sands Missile Range." I had read these were the largest bases in the USA a few weeks ago for... for... I don't even remember. Oh yeah, a research paper for a friend at West Point who wanted to work as a... whatever the desk job at a military base is. "uhhh... ooook... I didn't even know half of that list, anyways. Question three, what i- Ok, look this is pointless just from the answers from the first two questions that you gave, I already can tell your extra terrestrial and that you and your... race may- are, a threat to United States Government and her interests. Alright tranq him." He said walking away "Uhh General you might wanna look in that cage again" said a soldier "*sigh* *turning around noises* WHAT THE FUCK!? WHERE IN THE NAME OF THE GOOD FUCKING LORD DID HE GO!" Meanwhile with me, I was running down the hall attempting to find a spot to hide till the ship makes birth when I can make my daring escape home. After two minutes of searching I found a space between the pipes of the ship that was just wide enough to fit me and as a bonus it lead me into a room like area with no doors just walls of pipes, and know one would suspect a thing. As a sat in my self appointed hideout, I heard the general shouting for them to turn around and dock to search the ship. A few hours later and I heard the anchor lower and the horn sound off. I stealthily made my way back out through the gap, then down the hall to the portside exit and from there, hitched a ride in a shipping container strapped to the back of a truck. unfortunately for me the truck wasn't going to the place I hoped it was instead it was taking a dirt road through the woods. By the time I realized this I lost all hoped till I saw a sign, a sign siting flat on the road. I cracked the crate doors open again to look out and saw a sign with madison and mine's initials spray painted on it. There was a small cabin nearby that me and her would go to every winter back in highschool. I jumped out the front of the container and ran in the direction of where the cabin was. Once I arrived there I found the front door locked. I smashed the lock and went inside. I immediately searched for the old land line in the cabin. After a few minutes of searching, I found it laying on the table in the main room of the cabin. I picked up "Come on. come on, come on, come on! *busy line* DAMMIT!" I slammed the land line and collapsed onto the old couch. *Snap* *Crack* the couch collapsed beneath my weight, As did my sanity in that moment. I got up and searched around for something that smelled like her. You see I figured that since I was a dog, I could use my enhanced sense of smell to track her and in turn make my way home. I searched for what felt like an eternity until I eventually found an old shirt of hers in one of the bunks in the bedroom. I smelled it and like magic, a green trail appeared in front of me I followed it out of the cabin and into the woods. 

 I ran for an hour before finding a small town area. I ran off the road and into the surrounding woods in order to avoid the town. As I ran I found a sign that had red lettering. I was running fast and couldn't see what it said all I could read was "season" As I kept running I was shot in the leg from the nearby bushes. I was bleeding severally and it hurt like hell, but I kept running till my legs were sore and the sun had started sinking into a sea of red clouds and darkness. As I ran I found myself stuck inside of suburbia. I ran from house to house hiding inside of their backyards. Until I ran into a yard with two little girls playing around with dolls they screamed and I got caught off guard When I went to jump over the fence instead, I jumped into a child's bedroom. I crashed through the window. "huh?" The child said while rubbing their eyes "wha? AHHH! MOMMY!!! DADDY!!!" He screamed "Uhh hey I won't hurt you I'm a friend. *smiles showing sharp teeth* see?" I said "AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" "weeellll fuck." The kid's mom came running into the room "SweeeAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" I panicked and pushed her to the floor as I squeezed through the narrow doorway. When I made my way to the hallway after clawing my way out of the door, I was met with the buisness end of a double barreled shotgun "Put your ha- paws in the air!" "ok *puts paw hands in air* Just dooonnnnn *thud*" I had finally succumb to the blood loss and collapsed from the adrenaline flow stopping, making me, and my body realize I had lost three gallons of blood from those shooters in the bushes to here. As the world went dark and my eyelids lay heavy on my face, one final wave of adrenaline shot, barreled, and rolled through my body waking me up before death could get slit my throat in my sleep with that old scythe of his. I shot up and ripped the shotgun out of the father's hand while shoving him to the ground. I jumped out a window and hit the ground running. I started crashing through the fences of homes the smell and thought of madison possessed my body as I ran. My vision became fogged with blood, but I still kept running. Death could wait for me. I ran and ran till I finally made it to the outer grounds of the campus which connected to a open plain before fading to the woods where I was. I made my to my dorm building and like a man possessed, I scaled the back wall. Using my claws as hooks, I made my to my dorm room window, which was still open from the day prior, and rammed my way through it. Mike ran and hid behind the couch. My appearance disfigured by my blood soaked fur with shards of wood and branched stabbed into my skin. Snarling and huffing I said to mike "Help" Before finally fainting.