The Worst Month Ever

A shmuck's science

"*groan* dowwwwww my head... *groan* what happened? *looking down noises* oh yeah the dart. man, what time is it?" I was interrupted in my chain of grogged thought by Harrison I mean Dr. Ramon. "Not time, but day. In all seriousness though it's... 6:40... 8 6:48 am" "It's what? Oh god *falling backwards and thudding noises* I was out a whole day come on man and on a Saturday no less" "what were you gonna do? Sit in the corner of a room unable to use anything without breaking it?" "Touché" "exactly" then Madison walked into the room "dad are you ever gonna explain what that... thing is?" I shot at her "well that's rude! How would you like if I called you a thing" she turned and stared at me in fear for a second or two before turning around and grabbing Har— Ramon and pulling him into the test room. I can't tell whether I should be glad I heard their conversation or devastated. "Dad, Why haven't you killed that thing already." "because..." "because? because what?! That thing for all we know could be a blood thirsty monster and not your standard /who is that doggy in the window/ dog! monster... thing... ." "we can't kill him because it or well HE is... ." "is who dad? Who IN THE WORLD is so important that you know so well to not kill in an instant of seeing them like that?! hmmm? who?!" "zack... ." "ZACK?! AS IN THE GUY WHO LIVES ACROSS THE HALL FROM ME!!??" "yes that zach." I opened the test room door "You called my name?" I asked sarcastically "*gulp* uhhh heeyyy zach... umm uh eh heh your not mad that I shot you... right?" Madison asked oozing sweat from every pore like an over-pressured volcano. "wha? no of course not! You were just doing what felt necessary in the moment. Plus you were scared shitless sooo." Madison giggled before entering a paralyzed state of being when she saw me smile "*giggle* yeah yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" "uhhhh Madison? hello?" "rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*faint*" "whoa *catching with paw or hand thing noises* uhhh what do I do now" I asked looking  down at madison who was leaning on my paw d- orrr no hand or- oh whatever, hand-paw-foot thingy "I don't know, put her down maybe." Ramon said sarcastically "oh ha ha ha ha hardy hardy har sooOOOOooooooOOOOooo funny." I responded back in sarcasm "no seriously put her down that's not a pun or anything that's just honest advice" "oh" I moved my paw hand thing-a-ling a- ding up slowly so she could lay on the floor"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddddd out like a light, and snug as bug on a drug So, now what?" I asked with my face similar to the expression of two apostrophes combined with a hyphen to form an emoticon that is viewed as   '-' and is known as the neutral face. "well, we should probably run some tests to see how much your anatomy has changed." Ramon said looking around for something "what are you looking for?" I asked "my lapto- oh here it is. alright, now let me look up someone that is capable of understanding your physiology as well as your anatomy and all the other biological stuff I don't have any know-how about besides biology 101. Oh, and that we can trust enough not to kill or expose you." Ramon said "oh, ok. wait, how will you know who to trust?" I asked with genuine confusion maybe it was my what I'm guessing now dog brain or the fact that I had no idea who worked in the biology sector outside of Dr.Frost and my friend James. "alright I found someone, let's see they're eighteen go to the same collage as my daughter and you" Ramon said reading their credentials aloud. I tilted my head and raised my right brow and asked "what's their name?" "hm? oh it'ssssss James Allenthro Thompson" Ramon said. The world slowed down for a moment or two I was paralyzed in fear and thought. Thoughts of all the possibilities of all the things that could go wrong between me and him. My face became motionless a low and subtle high pitched "eeeeeee" similar in sound to that of a low creak from an old door in a stereotypical Hollywood horror moving picture manner and fashion came from my mouth. I ran to Ramon and his laptop to read it with my own eyes "are you sure that their is no one else?" I asked in a panic. I was glad I couldn't sweat in that moment because I would have looked like New Orleans after a hurricane.  Ab... solutly. Flooded. "uhh yeah I'm sure plus he's plenty qualified." "Are you suuure. Like sure sure. No, scratch that, sure sure sure... sure sure... sure." He turned towards his laptop, sighed, and started to search for other employees... again. After a minute or two of searching he found another employee by the name of Jennine Frost. I paused I couldn't tell whether this  was better or worse. "you know what let's bring both in... I mean two heads are better than one... right?" "uhhhhhh suuuuuure?" said Ramon as he turned around and grabbed his phone. *ring* *ri- ok you know the deal already, ring ring ring person picks up phone, answers and tells them to get to where the caller is, I think by now we are all tired of this communication trope in modern films, shows, shorts, and the otherwise countless forms of digital media we expose ourselves to on a daily if not hourly bases. "alright they're on their way here are you ready?" Ramon asked sarcastically- then again I think, I couldn't really tell. "about as ready as a complete mess of a person or animal... thing can be at a time like this." "touché"

{2 hours, 38 minutes, 44 seconds, and 88 miliseconds later}

I heard a knock on the key-card locked door and fell backwards on the three foldable chairs I was sitting on. I scrambled to gather myself together and stand tall when Ramon opened the door "hey Mr.Ramon what's the problem." James said "oh, it's just through here" they walked through the door to the test chamber. "so it's a tech problem? I think you got the wrong peop- pooooooooooooooooo..." said James "uhhhh hi yeah I'm the problem" I said looking down at them. "Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!" James went running as he screamed. My head naturally fallowed him, and every time he duct behind something and saw me looking at him, he would scurry off to the next hiding spot. finally he stopped running around and hid under Ramon's desk, holding his legs against his body for dear life like a traumatized child. I walked over to the desk and knelt down in front of it. James looked at me like I was gonna take his soul and beat it with a stick. You know what, now that I think about it, I could really go for a stick. Huh, anyways. I lowered my han- I mean paws so I could warp them around James. As my... paws... went under the desk, he yelped. I pulled my... paws back reflexively. "Hey its ok. It's me, Zach."

*record scratch*

Now before I indulge your most likely unending desire of Tom-f[REDACTED]. You might be wandering "What about Mike and that Frost lady?" Well dear reader Mike doesn't have job at the facility, he works at Starbucks. Ironically not making that many bucks, if you catch my drift. Now as for Dr.Frost she has well, entered a state of paralyzed psychosis while standing up aka, she a statue of fear.

now back on track

*rewind tape noises*

For the next five minutes James remained reluctant to move from his three walled fortress of fear. I, by this point, was fed up with him hiding under his alluring hiding spot. I reached my paws under the desk and pulled him out. "*yelp* No, no, no, no. No! No!! NOOO!!! Please!!" James screamed frantically. "Hey, will you stop screaming! Jeez that's annoying" I said while holding him by one arm. "Ow! Ow!! My arm!! Please put me down you're hurting me!!" James shrieked at me "Ok. OK! I'm doing it, see not that bad right" I said nervously. *clang* *bang* "Harrison Ramon!!! If you don't explain to me right now, what in the name of God and son is going on I will have you permanently removed from this project!! As well as end your ca... rrier... *gulp*" The head of the project, a general by the name of General M. Nighter, who was a part of the Space Force military branch that was surveying the facility for other uses and developments that could be useful for war as well as observing projects that were very useful to the United States Space Force such as the rocket propulsion engine at the facility, came barging in. His tyrannical rant of firing and toxic leadership only halted in it's tracks by the sight of me, a near ten foot dog!

"Ya done?" I said looking down at the general annoyed "sweet baby Jesus. What is this thing?" the General asked "It- it's huge!" He said "that's what she said" I said "and humorous" "Uhhh that General Nighter... is... umm a... uhh-" "Ramon forget it there's no point in lying. This is my friend Zack. He was human, about a day ago, but now he is a ten foot dog '-'" "huh. A ten foot dog ya don't say. *lip smack*light bulb... Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss!"