The Billionaire's maid

Chapter 1

"Oh Mil," he grunts my name, feeling his drops of sweat dripping between my breasts. I close my eyes and hope Devon will reach his climax as soon as possible. I'm not sure if sex has to feel like this, but I'm always happy he's finished. Devon was my best friend and in no time we reached another level in our relationship. For one month it was all new and exciting.

However, two years later, it's all boring and kind of blurry between us. I love him, but I'm not sure it's enough to be in a real relationship. He starts to feel more like a friend to me, the only friend I have. Maybe it's time I'll tell him the truth about how I feel about us. Maybe we can work things out for the better. Maybe I need to seek some kind of help, someone with an objective view of our relationship. Maybe I see things differently than others. I always believed in love at first sight, a spark, a connection at the very first moment and maybe that's just naive and childish of me.

I open my eyes and just like that Devon thrusts inside of me one last time before breaking contact. I send him a small smile, eyeing him curiously while he cleans himself.

"Did you enjoy it, Mil?" Devon asks without glancing at me. I can feel guilt dripping out of my heart. How can I tell him no after he enjoyed it? It's on me. Maybe I don't enjoy sex as much as him... I really like being around him isn't that the most important quality in a relationship?

Devon looks at me, already becoming frustrated about my silence. "You didn't enjoy it, right?" He says bluntly. I swallow hard, knowing this conversation isn't going to end well. If I can't feed his ego, he's only going to react like a jerk and I'm not in the mood for his tantrums today.

"I'm not in the mood for a fight, Devon." I sigh, taking my bathrobe from the ground.

"You're never in the mood for anything. Don't blame me for not enjoying sex. Maybe you need to anticipate a bit more, making a little more effort in our relationship!" Devon yells at me in anger, catching me off guard.

"So now I'm the one to blame for our miserable relationship?!" I scream back at him. How dare he when he knows what I've been through lately. "Okay, I neglected you. I know that but you know why it happened, and it's not because I wanted to neglect you on purpose!" I yell angrily. He damn well knows I didn't have a choice.

"You know what, Mil. This... I'm done with it." Devon hissed while pulling on his clothes.

"Devon, we're fighting it doesn't mean you have to end things between us," I say with a trembling voice, already ashamed of my behavior. Especially knowing I wasn't entirely honest about my feelings toward him.

"Mil it's been a long time I really felt you were enjoying sex," Devon explains to me calmer than before.

"I'm sorry okay. I have to work on that matter and maybe then it will get better." I plead, feeling a tear stream down my cheek. I'm not sure why I'm crying but it feels like this was maybe a turning point in our relationship, in my life. Devon was the only thing in my life I had a bit of control over. He was the one I was sure of and to rely on.

"You can't work on such feelings. You can't work on love, Mil. Or you feel something for me or you don't. Devon says and steps beside me. "It's also my fault. I felt your doubts for a long time and I was too scared for the truth."

A sob leaves my throat. I'm not crying because of our breakup, I'm crying because I have lost him as a friend as well.

"Devon, I do love you, but..." as I stop to take a breathe Devon ends my sentence.

"You love me as a friend, not a lover," Devon says softly before opening the door of my bedroom and closing it, leaving the scent of his cologne behind as a punishment, a reminder of my mistakes.

With my head down I shove my feet into the direction of the shower, washing the guilt from my body. I'm not sure how I'm going to get through the day without shedding another tear.

This is the first time I hoped my father would be in another state of mind. What will he say when he finds out Devon and I broke up because of me? He's suffering from dementia and I'm trying my best to let him stay here with me for as long as possible, but it's been hard.

A year ago, the first symptoms of his illness started to appear when he forgot his patients' names. We just laughed it away because of the pandemic and the heavy workload he got back then. So it started with forgetting minor
things-things he normally would never forget.

After two months he told his patients things that wouldn't make sense. He even thought he saw his mother standing beside them multiple times and that's when I really started to worry about his condition. Father never seemed to know what he did wrong because he couldn't even remember anything for that matter.

So after three months, we were being able to get an appointment with a neurosurgeon, John was also a good friend of my father. Dad had treated his son a few years ago who was suffering from an eating disorder.

John immidiatly made a picture from his brain to make sure there wasn't an absces or something putting pressure on a part of his brains, however the outcome was worse. My father suffers from young dementia as he's just turned sixty years old, which is a rather young age to develop this disease. Doc told me it's probably been developing a bit longer as we thought, as it was clear a small part of his brain were already damaged by the disease.

From that day, my world started to crumble around me. Every day was the same and the only joy I could feel were the moments when he was himself, Garry Richards, a smart and sweet psychologist who would move the world for his only daughter. Yeah, I can proudly say I'm a daddy's girl and if Devon doesn't want to understand that I also have a commitment to my father he can find his love elsewhere. I lack strength to persuade him once again as this wasn't the first time he broke up with me withtout talking it through or even giving me a chance to explain myself.