Words From the Fragile Spire

Don't Put That There

"No, don't put that there."

"The sofa goes on this side of the room and the TV on that side. It'll be a little more glary, probably. But the sofa can't go on that side. It just can't. Think about it: your guest walks in through here, right? And look! Straight past the kitchen and straight into a couch. That's a big no-no, kid. You can't have your guest walking into the couch when they come in. And, so, the couch goes on the other side, so they walk into the TV instead."

But sir, I –

"Oh, another thing! Come here; follow me to the bedroom. The corner-desk is fine in that corner... actually, I might want it – no, no, I do want it in that corner. That way I'm not working in total darkness away from the window over there, you know? Anyway, make sure you don't put it too far against the wall – I want to put a lamp right in that triagonal pocket right there."

But sir, I already put it where –

"When you go back to the truck, make sure to take the rug before the coffee table. It's not a big deal, really. But we'll have to move the coffee table out of the way, or just set it aside to begin with, so that we can lay the rug out and put the coffee table on top. Ergo, if we bring the rug in first, then the coffee table can just plop right on top. Boom! No trouble at all!"

But sir, I just work for the moving company, this really isn't necessary –

"Be careful with that box right there, that's all my old album. Gosh, you probably don't even know what a real 'album' is, you youngster! These used to be the hottest things on the market back in the 60s and 70s. Save for my old lady's toast, though. Bless her, but she couldn't for the life of her figure out how to not burn the damn toast! Figures that of all things, I'd have such a clear memory of that."

I'm sorry, sir, but it's my first day on the job. I'm a little overwhelmed by –

"So what? Why should you let that stop you?"