Burning Cosmos {A Torchwood Story Three} [COMPLETED]

8. Spice Cannot Be Put Out

"Amber," I call out to my best friend even though she's sitting right next to me, "I'm having second thoughts about being on this ride!"
"You've said that about every ride today, Evie!" Amber laughs back as she leans back in her secured seat, ready for takeoff. "Just sit back and have fun!"

"A rollercoaster is not my idea of fun, it is your idea of fun!"
She just laughs through my protests as the Megafobia ride chunters to life, and we get dangerously closer to the first big drop.
Why did I let Amber talk me into going to Oakwood theme park? I hate this, I hate this, I so fucking hate this!

But before I can shout anything else, the ride starts, and my words are covered by screams of pure, unadulterated terror. Too much, this is too much - I get my kicks from hunting aliens, not man-made death machines!

Amber loves every second of it, even wanting to go again as soon as we get off.
"Fuck no," I say, and she laughs at me.
"Where's your fun-loving spirit, Eve?" she asks with a grin, and I reply grumpily, "Back on Speed, you fucking psycho. Amber, I really don't like rollercoasters, okay, I'm sorry. They're just too fast and twirly and I'm not in control. I'm terrified, genuinely. I'll do the rest of the day with you, but after that can we just go to adult nights at the soft play area when we go out?"

Amber plays offended but doesn't really mean it, and goes and stands in the really long line for powdered donuts to make up for it. She comes back with a hefty amount of sugared treats and we dig in, not speaking til the cardboard tray is completely empty. Before she leans back, she digs in her bag and takes out one of these new diet pills she's started taking for no reason, Adipose whatever, and again I throw it out her hand into the nearby bin. She rolls her eyes, but I can't explain it - she just shouldn't take them.

"Man, that was better than sex," my friend chuckles as she leans back in her metal seat. My automatic response is to think about Owen, and I add, "Well, better than most sex."
Unbuttoning the top button of her jeans, Amber glances up at me. "How's it going with him anyway? Last time I asked, it was that party, and you were acting like an old married couple. Well - an old married couple that still act like lust-driven teenagers."

I sigh. "I don't really know, to be honest. A few weeks ago I watched Toshi... one of my co-workers," I interrupt myself, remembering I can't tell her anything about my job, "and her... boyfriend, break up. They really loved each other."
"Then why didn't they stay together?"
"Because it never would've worked." I lean my elbows on the table. "They were too, too different. They really did love each other, but it never would've worked out in the long run, when real life would set in. I feel like that's me and Owen - when real life comes knocking, he runs."

I look up at her from the table, my brows arched down. "What's the point of falling in love if you'll only get hurt?"

Amber falls silent. No doubt she's thinking of her ex-husband, and how much she used to love him before he began to abuse her, and even a bit after that. She doesn't have a good reason, and that's because I believe there isn't one.

Owen and I aren't meant to be together, I'm trying to accept. We've lived, liked, and shagged for over a year now, over two years if we count The Year That Never Was, and it feels like we're still in the beginning stages. Which, normally I'd be fine with, but with Owen it's different. Our connection feels special, one of a kind. My heart hurts when I'm with him, but it's worth it.

I can't express all of this to Amber, so I just shrug and say, "He'll never tell me he loves me; he's too mentally ill for it," and leave it at that.
My bestie sighs for me and crumples the tray in her hands for something to do, posts it into the bin beside the table, leans over to me, and kisses my forehead. "He doesn't know what he's missing."