Random Literatures

P: Closet Crisis

There is this one time (maybe in 2014 - 2016) where I did something that may have changed everything I know...

I have watched a TV series back in my childhood where there is this one adapted boy that can literally talk to Jesus the Son of God himself in person and can cure the sick via Jesus' bestowed power. (Final Episode February 2010) What I can remember the most in this TV series is that he got locked in a closet by this woman and stays there for a while until he dies. Searching the internet, it's totally wrong. He was locked because this woman wants the kid to heal some sort of disease in her, but was refusing because he can no longer cure people. He then dies because he was accidentally pushed off the stairs and hit his head hard on the floor, but back then I thought he dies in the closet via hunger, thirst, and oxygen starvation altogether. I did this to myself at night (some time in 2015 - 2017) and got into a closet myself. Obviously nobody can lock it from the inside, but I tried to stay there for as long as possible, trying to sleep in the process. I don't know if there is enough oxygen in the closet for the whole night since I have confidence it's no big deal. But then I could not sleep, the carbon dioxide build-up is not really obvious. I can't sleep not because of the lack of oxygen, it's because it's not easy to sleep in it. It's not really comfortable since I'm forced to sleep while sitting, I have never fallen asleep in that position as far as I can remember.

This part is crucial, I can't really tell if I regretted doing that. If I had felt comfortable and had been able to sleep in that closet for the night

OMAE MOU SHINDE IRU

I'd like to imagine this alternate timeline where I never existed past all those points in time where I could have died, this chapter being one of them. I never would have met those people past my childhood, I never would have been able to play the games I'd like to play in my teens, I never would have watched the youtubers and vtubers I'm watching from time to time. My family, nah whatever. I know my value to them to a degree, but honestly I'd rather be dead and not experience more about this world. It doesn't matter if I want to live longer for those things I still care about, I'm better off in the afterlife, with this world completely out of my grip of influence...

And the World and Reality's truth out of my sight.